We know we’re not going to like what we see when we creep our boyfriend’s ex on social media, yet we’re all guilty of doing it. Whether it’s curiosity or a smidge of insecurity, most of us have dug deep into their Facebook profiles and Instagram accounts. We’re not exactly sure what we’re looking for, but we’re going to be unapologetically judgmental, slightly jealous, and forever left with even more questions. Here are the thoughts you have when scoping your man’s ex out online:
What was their relationship like? Seeing pics of your boyfriend’s past love is going to stir up all kinds of questions about their relationship. Did they have inside jokes like you guys do? How serious were they? Your heart will drop when you see pics of them laughing together. It makes you uneasy when you see a disgustingly cute picture of them together. You’ll wonder what his relationship was like with him, with his family, with his friends. You’ll wonder if they got into the same stupid arguments that you guys do, you’ll wonder if they were truly happy, and you’ll wonder how your relationship compares. Regardless of what their relationship was like, there was obviously a reason why it ended. He’s with you now, and that’s all that matters.
Is she prettier than me? It’s only natural to get a tad insecure when you’re looking at photos of the girl your man was once madly in love with. But hey- if she’s a stunner, at least you know your man has good taste.
She complains a lot. All her status updates are so whiny. Are those sappy song lyrics? Is this girl ever happy?
Does he miss her? I wonder if he creeps her, too. Is he jealous when he sees pictures of her with other guys? Does he think about her still? Does he regret the breakup?
She looks fun. Is it weird that her pictures make me want to be friends with her? If she weren’t my boyfriend’s ex, I mean. She just looks like she lives such an exciting life. She’s always traveling, or trying a new restaurant, or at some cool event in the city. I think we’d get along.
She kind of looks like me. OK, this is creepy. We could be sisters if I didn’t know any better.
I like her outfit. What a cute pair of boots! Where did she get that jacket? This girl has such a great sense of style. Maybe I need to go shopping.
She looks really sweet. She’s so innocent looking. I bet she’s the kind of girl who volunteers on weekends and is a vegetarian because she loves animals so much. How can I hate her?
She has really nice hair. How long does that take her to do in the morning? Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s one of those girls who rolls out of bed with perfect hair. I bet she doesn’t have a single split end. I need to know the name of her hairdresser.
She parties pretty hard. It looks like she goes out… a lot. There’s a drink in her hand in nearly every photo. Did they used to party together, or did she become a party girl when they broke up?
How much makeup is she wearing? There’s no way she’s naturally that tanned. And no one’s eyelashes look like that. How does she function with those nails? Are those boobs real?
What was their sex life like? I wonder if they had sex often. Was she good in bed? Did they try kinky things? OK, stop. I don’t want to think about him sleeping with another girl.
She looks boring. Does she even have any friends? She’s solo in all her photos. It looks like she never goes out. She spent last Friday night with a book. We’re complete opposites.
They look so in love. Look at the way he’s looking at her in that photo. They sure did go on a lot of romantic weekend getaways. Aww, her status update about him is so cute. They look perfect together.
Has she creeped me, too? I wonder what her impression of me is. Maybe I should make my profile private.