The Problem With Being A Perfectionist In Love

Being a perfectionist is both a gift and a curse. However, in the dating world, it’s more of the latter. If you can’t find the right person for you, then he won’t be able to handle your butt habits. Of course, if he can’t handle you, then you definitely won’t be able to handle him. No relationship is perfect, and the sooner you embrace that, the less you’ll face the following problems in your search for love:

  1. You show up late. Even though you told your man you’d see him at five, you don’t leave the house until six. It took you forever to get ready, because you needed the wings of your eyeliner to match, and you needed to get rid of the pesky wrinkles in your shirt. It can take a perfectionist a long time to look presentable.
  2. You need dates to go exactly as planned. Even though you might show up an hour late to your man’s house, you absolutely despise when he shows up two minutes behind schedule. When he doesn’t arrive on time, it throws off your whole schedule. Then your date is pretty much ruined before it really starts.
  3. You start pointless fights. You can’t stand walking into the bathroom to see the towels folded the wrong way. That’s why you’ll yell at your man about the mistake, even though he didn’t mean to upset you. He just doesn’t understand why some of the things you care about are such a big deal.
  4. You obsess over tiny mistakes. The typo in the professional email you sent isn’t that big of a deal, but you can’t convince yourself that it doesn’t matter. That’s why you have plenty of meltdowns in everyday life. If you’re with the wrong man, he won’t have a clue how to handle them, because he won’t understand why you’re so upset.
  5. You wonder if you can do better. You want everything in life to be perfect, including your relationships. If you have a few too many fights with your boyfriend, you’ll think about breaking up with him to find someone better. That’s why you might hop from man to man without thinking twice about it.
  6. You procrastinate. Perfectionists tend to be major procrastinators. However, if your boyfriend wants you to do him a favor, and you keep putting it off, he won’t be happy. To be fair, you wouldn’t be happy if he did the same to you.
  7. You never rely on him. You live by the motto, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” That’s why you might make your man feel emasculated. You don’t trust him as much as you trust yourself, so you won’t rely on him as much as he’d like you to.
  8. You don’t handle criticism well. It doesn’t matter if your man says something small, like that he wishes you’d buy a different brand of cereal for him to eat in the mornings. Any suggestion that he makes can come across as criticism to you, so you won’t be happy to hear it.
  9. You’re under a lot of stress. For whatever reason, you feel pressure to be perfect. You don’t want to be a disappointment to anyone, which is why you put too much on your plate at once. That can bother your boyfriend, because it means you won’t have enough time to spend with him. It also means he’ll be constantly trying to calm you down.
  10. You don’t give yourself enough credit. Your man can get annoyed with your low self-esteem. After all, you buy him the best presents, cook him the finest meals, and say the sweetest things—but for some reason, you still think you could’ve done better. He wishes he could change that, because he thinks you’re perfect the way you are.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.