If You Pull Out Your Phone On Our First Date, We’re Done

I don’t know about you, but I have zero patience for a guy who plays on his phone during a first date. Like, how rude can you get?! There are so many reasons why this is wrong. Here are just a few of them:

  1. I don’t want to date someone who’s incapable of disconnecting. I feel like nowadays, everyone is addicted to their phones. I’ve recognized this and am making sure that I don’t get that bad. Knowing this, I want someone who’s aware of how bad smartphones are for our society. When I’m bored, I instantly just pick up my phone and start checking my feeds. It’s a great way to kill time but at least I know it’s not a healthy habit and I can walk away. I won’t date a guy who can’t.
  2. Once he pulls out his phone, I’ll be tempted to pull out mine. It’s funny how that works. I find that when I’m hanging out with a friend and they take their phone out, I take mine out automatically. It’s almost like we’re enabling each other’s addictions. I don’t want my first date with a potential partner to be just an endless loop of phone-checking. That’s definitely not what I had in mind for a romantic evening out.
  3. Our date will be that much more boring. I find that when a date is interrupted with “phone time,” the conversation tends to lull and get a little boring. I mean, how can we possibly live up to the endless pit of information and fun on our phones? The internet is the ultimate source of entertainment and we’re just two humans with a limited source of life experience and knowledge.
  4. It’s just plain old disrespectful. I would never check my phone in the middle of spending time with a friend or family member, let alone a date I’m trying to impress. The second the phone comes out, the entire social interaction comes to a halt. It’s kinda giving the other person the impression that they’re less important than whatever’s on the phone, which is so NOT true in reality. Whoever’s in front of your face is the most important person in the moment, not a text your “friend” sent you at random. That can wait.
  5. Unless it’s an emergency or you want to show me something, you shouldn’t even have it in your hand. I don’t see a problem with phones during dates if it’s either an emergency or I’m being shown a funny video or picture that has to do with the conversation. Anything else and I’m gonna write him off as a phone-addicted douchebag.
  6. What is he even looking at? I can safely assume that whatever he’s looking at during our date is some silly gif his friend sent him or his Insta feed or Twitter. I don’t even know, but whatever it is, it can’t possibly be more important than a first date, right? I can only hope.
  7. I’m going to assume you’re swiping away at other girls on your dating app. I mean, how could I NOT assume this. I see it all the time when I’m out. The second one of the daters goes to the bathroom, the other one pulls out their dating app and starts swiping. Are we really so impatient that we can’t even put the time and effort into cultivating a connection with someone? Seriously, my generation is screwed when it comes to dating.
  8. It’ll make me think that he’s not interested in me. The most obvious reason playing on a phone during the date is a big no-no is that it makes it incredibly obvious that he’s not interested in me. I mean, what more proof do I need? The second the phone comes out, I’m going to assume that I failed as a date, which may or may not be true in his eyes. Why would he risk making me upset and doubt myself just because he’s addicted to his phone? It’s a pretty insensitive thing to do if you ask me…
  9. It shouldn’t even be on the table. I don’t get it when people go out for dinner or drinks or whatever and have their phones right beside them in case it buzzes. That in itself is rude because it’s implying that if their phone did buzz, they would answer it even if they were in the middle of a conversation. Put it away. Put it in a pocket. Just keep it off the table.
  10. If you really need to check it, go to the bathroom. I do this all the time, especially on a first date. I’ll text my friend to tell them how it’s going or I’ll do it when my date leaves the table. I would NEVER text them right in the middle of our conversation. That is just grade-A rude.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.