I Put Everything Into My Relationships & I Want Someone Who Does The Same

For way too long, I was always the one putting 150 percent into a relationship and getting the bare minimum in return. Eventually, I got sick of being taken for granted and decided I’m done dealing with guys who can’t be bothered to make an effort. When all is said and done, I need a guy who cares just as much as I do about our relationship.

  1. I give my all in a relationship and I expect the same from my partner. When I’m in a relationship, I give it everything I’ve got. I’m through putting up with partners who half-ass it — either he’s totally in or totally out because there’s no in-between. Since my devotion to my partner is always through the roof, I need someone who can give that right back to me, otherwise; it’s not going to work.
  2. I’m tired of dating guys who hold back emotionally. Sure, it’s kinda hot when a guy acts all tough, but do you know what’s even hotter? A man who’s not afraid to show his true emotions — and trust me, it’s nearly impossible to find. I always get stuck with guys who are either emotionally closed off or don’t take my feelings seriously. I need someone who’ll let me know when something is wrong and actually cares about making our bond stronger.
  3. I feel like dating has become a competition on who can care the least, and I hate that. Everyone seems to be worried about appearing like they care too much about their relationships. It’s no longer a point of pride to be “in love” — in fact, it’s actually seen as kinda lame. Well, to me, love is definitely not lame and I’ve come to realize that I need to be with someone who thinks it’s more important to show their love than to prove how they could do without it.
  4. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I love someone, the whole world will know it. I like to flaunt my guy around town, and to tell you the truth, a lot of guys these days are weird about that kinda stuff. It’s not easy finding a guy who’s as lovey-dovey as I am, but if/when I do find him, I’ll know he’s a keeper.
  5. I don’t have it in me to play games anymore. I’m through trying to figure out whether the guy I’ve been dating for three months actually likes me. I want to know it from the get-go. So many times, I get tied up with guys who play around and aren’t serious about pursuing an actual relationship. I almost feel like they’re just using me for validation and honestly, I don’t have it in me to keep up with their games.
  6. If you don’t care 100 percent, then why even bother? I can’t be with someone who isn’t in it to win it. If he’s only half-in, I’ll start questioning his motives and wonder if he loves me the same way I love him. To me, it’s pointless being in a relationship unless you’re totally committed; otherwise, it’s like, what are you even doing?
  7. I let my partner into all areas of my life. When I’m in a relationship, it’s no longer the “me” show, it’s the “we” show — it’s about both of us. I want my friends to meet my partner, I want to travel together and discover new things. I have no problem incorporating my partner into my life, but if he won’t include me in hisI don’t think we can be together.
  8. I’m never embarrassed to show my love in public.  Contrary to popular opinion, I’m a huge fan of PDA and have no problem showing my love for my boo in the public eye. Yes, I’m that annoying girl who sits on her boyfriend’s lap at parties and takes up the entire sidewalk because I need to hold hands. I’m proud to be in a relationship and I can only hope that my partner is too.
  9. I’m always the one who’s more invested — not anymore. I always find myself at the mercy of my partner. Is he still in love with me? What can I do to make him love me more? It’s totally unfair that I’m the one who always puts more work in. Both parties should be equally excited about making the relationship work, am I right? I think it’s time I become a little more picky in who I commit to and only choose guys who actually care about love.
  10. I need him to care about OUR life more than HIS life. When I’m in a relationship, I made the choice to let someone else into my life and I take responsibility for that. So many guys I end up dating will bring up how they’ve “lost themselves” or “don’t have their own life anymore.” That’s my fault, how? You signed up for this buddy. A relationship is supposed to enrich our experience of life, not make us feel like we’re missing out on something.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.