You’ve been so happy with your partner for so long, but these days, things are different. Is my relationship over? you find yourself wondering. While you might desperately hope the answer is no, it just might be that things have run their course (and part of you probably knows it). Take this mini quiz to find out whether it’s time to break up and move on to greener pastures.
- Has sex become pretty much nonexistent? Sex certainly isn’t everything in life or in a relationship, but it is a vital part of it. When you stop connecting in the bedroom, you basically turn into roommates. While it’s certainly natural for the stresses and circumstances of everyday life to take over from time to time, when weeks turn into months or even years without connecting in this way, you can pretty much bet your relationship is over.
- Do the little qualities you used to love about your partner annoy you these days? At first, you loved their weird sense of humor. You found it hilarious that they farted when they burped or that they whistle incessantly like making their breakfast in the morning. These days, however, they’re the exact things that drive you up the wall and make you want to rip your own hair out. This is not a good sign.
- Do you often fantasize about being with someone else (or simply not in your relationship)? It’s natural to find other people attractive – you’re not blind just because you’re in a relationship. However, if fantasies of being with someone else either romantically or even just having sex with them are the norm for you these days, all signs point to not wanting to be with your partner anymore.
- Do you find reasons to be out of the house/away from them as much as possible? If this isn’t the death knell for a relationship, I don’t know what is. It’s healthy and important for people in a relationship to spend time on their own, doing their own thing and maintaining their individuality. However, if you’ve been taking that to the extreme and will literally take any opportunity available to be away from your partner/the house you share, you probably shouldn’t be together anymore.
- Do you regularly feel unloved, unappreciated, or taken for granted? The longer you’re with someone, the easier it is to become complacent and start to take them and everything they do for you for granted. It happens, but it’s important that you’re self-aware enough to catch yourself and fix the behavior. If you always feel like your partner couldn’t care less whether you’re around or not and you feel like you’re the one putting in all the effort, that’s prime breeding grounds for resentment and a breakup.
- Do you spend more time fighting than you do getting along? All couples argue – it’s normal and can even be healthy if you know how to do it right. However, if you spend more time at each other’s throats than you do getting along, it’s clear that there’s a major discord there. Either you get to the bottom of what’s pulling you apart or your relationship is over.
- Have you or your partner lost the will to fix your relationship issues? Maybe you know there are some major problems between you but neither of you really feel all that passionate about resolving them. It’s easier to walk away or avoid the issues altogether. Part of you feels like it’s not your responsibility to fix things, and maybe that’s true. However, if you really don’t care either way
- Are your friends noticing how unhappy you are all the time? If your closest friends regularly mention how unhappy you seem and the fact that you’re becoming a bit of a shell of your former self, you know something is up. No one knows you as well as they do, and the fact that they’re noticing that you’re constantly down/stressed/upset is something you should pay attention to and act on.
- Do you feel like you know deep down that it’s over? If so, I think it’s clear what you need to do: end your relationship. You deserve to be happy.
