Sometimes it seems like texting has killed our ability to hold a conversation. People are always breaking the rules of texting etiquette by taking forever to respond, sending one word answers, and sending messages at all hours on the night. As with most forms of communication, guys have a way of driving us completely up the wall with their baffling texting habits. We’re aware that the chances of them quitting their bad texting behaviour is pretty slim, but that doesn’t mean it’s ever going to stop being infuriating.
Even just “OK” doesn’t incite the same kind of rage in a girl as the seemingly innocent letter “K”. Is it that hard to type in one more letter? Your phone’s predictive text probably does most of the work, anyway. “K” just sounds so dismissive and uninterested.
“Hey, you up?”
If you feel the need to ask whether I’m up or not, it’s best to assume I’m not. We know what you’re looking for when the first text you’ve sent us in weeks is a 1am sleep schedule inquiry. If you want to hook up, at least have the decency to ask before midnight.
“What are you wearing?”
Either we’re wearing sweats and we’ll tell the truth, or we’re wearing sweats but we’ll tell you we’re wearing some sort of elaborate lace lingerie get up that no one ever actually wears.
This usually happens when you haven’t actually met the guy in person yet and for some reason he wants to see you from every angle, in ten different outfits before he commits to actually asking you out on a date.
The unsolicited penis picture.
If we want to see a picture of a penis on our phone, we’re perfectly capable of asking for a penis pic. But the sneak attack is never the way to go. No one wants to be forced to look at a hard-on when they thought they were in the middle of a conversation about their favourite pizza toppings.
“Sorry, my phone died.”
Weird, I noticed you posted on Instagram a couple hours ago, right around the time I texted you. I’ll take your word for it, though. But if it happens again, I’m going to wonder if you don’t know how to work a phone charger.
Those of us who have used Tinder and given a nice enough guy our number, only for the very first text he sends us to be a request for sex know all about the pain of this one. Could he not have just asked through the app? Now you have to block his number.
“I love you.”
While texting those three little words might be perfectly fine in some circumstances, if he’s drunk, is clearly and firmly in the friend zone, or you haven’t talked to him in months, it’s just weird.
“OMG LOL, emoji, emoji, emoji.”
Are you a 14-year old-girl? Speak in full sentences, please. Guys can be just as guilty of over-using text slang as girls are, and it’s just as unattractive.
The complete and utter absence of a text.
Sometimes it’s what he’s not saying that inspires us to obsess for hours about what we did wrong, what he’s doing right now, and why he hasn’t responded. A lot of the time we’d take any one of these other awful texts over seemingly endless radio silence.
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