I’d Rather Be Dumped Than Be Strung Along

Breakups are never easy, but sometimes they’re better than the alternative. I’ve dated one too many guys who’ve dragged things out just because saying they weren’t feeling it was too awkward, but that didn’t make parting ways any less inevitable. In fact, it always made things even worse. Here’s the deal: if you feel our relationship has run its course, just tell me. I’d much rather be dumped than have you string me along.

  1. I’m not a backup option. I’m not just some girl you keep in the background until I look like the shiniest one in the bunch or until you find a time convenient enough for you to fit me in — no way. I’m not that kind of girl and never will be. I’m either the only one for you or nothing to you at all.
  2. I respect the hell out of guys who give me real closure. Every guy who’s ever given me a real and respectful ending has gotten zero drama from me. Some of them have even grown to become some of my good friends. If you’re the guy who avoids the uncomfortable breakup conversation or leads me to believe we’re more than we ever will be, that’s what makes you the a-hole. Breaking up with me like a normal human being is what makes you the man it just didn’t work out with — it’s your choice what imprint you want to leave.
  3. I deserve an ending that’s real. If things aren’t going to work out with us, even if it’s hard to say goodbye, I’d rather be hurt than left holding onto hope for something that will never be. I don’t want to waste my time when it could be better spent elsewhere. Offering someone real closure instead of putting crap off because you’re a coward or because you’re still on the fence is selfish. Keep me in the loop at least —  tell me what’s going on.
  4. Being strung along makes me doubt myself. It hurts a lot more when I’ve replayed the ending and realized I let myself stay far longer than I should have. Suddenly, the warning signs I didn’t notice become painfully clear and it makes me question myself further when I realize you didn’t show me the decency I deserved.
  5. I’d rather know sooner than later. The sooner we end things, the sooner we’re both on our way to finding what’s truly meant for us. I’m not looking to be just a late night option or a last resort to your lonely Saturday nights. I’m a person who’s looking for love and I deserve to be freed from the grip of someone unwilling or unable to give it to me.
  6. I actually take breakups really well if they’re done maturely. Guys are always using the BS excuse that the reason they avoid breakups is because they usually result in chaos. That might be true in some cases, but perhaps if you tried it a few times, you’d see that not everyone reacts the same way. I certainly don’t. I’m not going to curse your name or cause some massive scene (and even if I did, I still deserve the truth).
  7. I respect honesty over being made to feel like a fool. You’re more than likely to raise the bitch out of me by leading me on or ghosting me than you would by just telling me straight up, “Hey, you’re great, but I’m just not really feeling it. I’m sorry.” Like I said, I’d respect you a lot more for your honesty. It leaves me with a sense of ease and comfort when I know concretely that things aren’t going to work out than it does to know I’ve held on to hope for far longer than I should have.
  8. Moving on is easier after a concrete ending. Whether you rip the band-aid off quickly or give me a simple few words to tell me it’s over, it’s better that I can define it clearly. I’d rather move on stronger, knowing that I tried my best but it just wasn’t meant to be. I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want to call you a jerk for hurting me, so do me a solid and don’t be that guy.
  9. Giving me false hope hurts me more in the end. The feeling of being fooled and knowing my feelings were one-sided for so long only makes me feel worse and cuts deeper when the unavoidable ending comes to life. It’s pretty simple with me — if you’re never going to love me, let me go.
  10. I can handle it. I’m a grown woman and I’m looking for a grown man to share my life with. If that’s not you, just let me know — I can handle it. I’m strong enough to get over it and I’m capable of moving forward without you. You’re not doing me any favors by keeping my daydreams going. I’d rather be broken up with than strung along.