I’d Rather Be Single In My 20s — I Need To Be On My Own So I Can Do These 10 Things

I subscribe to the belief that your 20s should only be about one person: you. Think about it — you get an entire decade to be selfish and reach your goals, so why not take advantage? Unfortunately, some people just get lost in the relationship aspect of their lives and they let it dictate their choices and actions. Instead, I choose to be single during my 20s, that way I’m free to do these things:

  1. Have ladies’ night (every night). Everyone loves a good girls’ night. Being single in your 20s mean more nights with your squad making memories to last a lifetime. Whether those nights consist of tequila and body shots or wine and deep conversations, you’ll never regret putting aside time for your ladies. Plus, surrounding yourself with strong, independent women is incredibly inspiring.
  2. Flirt with whoever I want. I’ll admit it — I absolutely love flirting, and it’s gotten me into some trouble in the past. I think it’s harmless and totally okay to do while in a relationship (it’s not like I’m going to let it lead anywhere). However, I know that not everybody has that attitude, so I have to respect my partner while in a relationship. When I’m single, I can flirt with the cute bartender, the adorable co-worker, and the mailman and no one can say anything to me.
  3. Spend my money on me, not on date night. I like to spend my money on things that make me feel good. When it comes to my disposable income, it’s for me. Instead of spending it on date night, I might treat myself to a facial or a new journal (hey, a writer needs her tools, right?). When I’m single, I don’t have to feel guilty about what I spend my money on.
  4. Move for a job (or just because I feel like it). There are plenty of opportunities that arise during your 20s. Unfortunately, many of them are passed up because of relationships. The funny thing is, as valuable as love seems at the time, it isn’t the most important thing in your life. I want to be open and willing to move for a job or any other opportunity that comes my way.
  5. Sleep in my own bed. If you’re in a relationship, you probably spend about half the nights at your significant other’s place and the other half only crash at yours because you were too tired to go to them. I’m a girl that needs to sleep in her own bed, and being single means I get it all to myself every night. You may call it lonely, but I call it serenity.
  6. Be selfish. Your 20s are ALL ABOUT being selfish. You can take that job, work extra hours, eat that cake, do what you need to do. As much as I hate utilizing this saying, Drake was right when he said you only live once — but I like to think that you’re only YOUNG once. You have to embrace it because one day you might be looking back and wondering why you didn’t take advantage when you could.
  7. Get to know me better. Hell yeah, I want to be my own best friend. When you truly rely on and trust in yourself, no other outside factor can get to you. I’d rather use my 20s learning how to be independent instead of depending on a relationship. Trust me, when you discover the magic of loving yourself, you’ll want to as well.
  8. Go home with someone when I feel like it. Being young is all about experimenting, right? If I feel the desire to go home with a cute guy I met, why shouldn’t I? Casual dating is fun because it allows me to sample all different kinds of relationships without having to get too committed. It gives me an idea of what I might want in the future.
  9. Travel solo. As an avid solo traveler, I want to see so much of the world by myself. In a couple, you’re sort of obligated to travel with someone (I mean, you can’t exactly pick up and backpack for three months without your partner, can you?). When you travel on your own, you get so many more opportunities to meet locals and make connections. Plus, you don’t have to worry about adhering to someone else’s schedule.
  10. Have fun (and forget about relationships problems). Worrying about relationships is for suckers. Seriously, how much time have you wasting wondering when you’re going to be loved or what’s wrong with you? Hint: NOTHING. It’s silly to worry about that, especially when you have so much life ahead of you. Relax, love yourself, and know that it will happen. In the meantime, be a little selfish and allow yourself to enjoy your 20s.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.