There are plenty of people out there who can handle long-distance, but not me. All the extra work and emotional strength it requires just isn’t worth it for me. I applaud people who can handle a relationship that requires hours and hours of travel just to see each other, but this is why I’d rather be single than deal with it:
I’m very “out of sight, out of mind”. It’s not that I want to date other people or cheat — I just require a good deal of face-to-face contact in order to feel connected to a guy. If he’s not around, then I’m going to spend time with other people, and you never know what might happen. I’ve never actually fallen for a friend or anything, but there’s always a first time. It’s tough being in a relationship with someone who’s never there.
I don’t have money to travel all the time. Long-distance relationships require quite the financial commitment in addition to everything else. It’s too much to pile financial strain on top of the emotional and mental drain that’s already inherently there. I wouldn’t want to feel like I had to spend all my savings in order to keep my romance afloat. I’d grow resentful that I had to spend my extra money going to see him.
I don’t know that I’d ever trust any guy that much. I hate to sound cynical… but I am. Trust is a difficult element of any relationship, let alone one that spans thousands of miles. I would have no way of really knowing what he was doing or with whom, so I would have to rely on trust alone. I’m not sure that I believe any man can stay faithful when his partner is so far away.
Quite frankly, I’m too lazy. I don’t want to maintain long-distance love. I just don’t. I have so many other goals and plans and dreams. I can’t commit to something that’s uncertain and someone who’s far away. I can barely manage to date people who live within a five-mile radius; I wouldn’t want to deal with the intense amount of upkeep required of me in something as complicated as a long-distance relationship.
I have so much going on that I would have no extra energy for it. I only have so much mental, emotional and physical energy to go around. I don’t know how on Earth I would be able to devote any of it to a long-distance partner. I refuse to put my relationship above the rest of my ambitions. I’m a grownup now, and I’m far too focused and driven to lose my way for a man.
I’d miss sex too much. I’m a sensual human being, and a generous amount of physical contact is very important to me when I’m seeing someone. I consider great, healthy, plentiful sex to be the foundation of a healthy connection. I would not be happy if I was only getting laid every few months. Sure, the anticipation and excitement would build up, but I’d be grumpy all the time that I was away from my partner.
Time zone differences are not my friend. As if all the time and energy that long-distance requires isn’t bad enough, you also have to deal with a time difference — sometimes several hours’ worth. The logistics of figuring out when the two of us could even communicate would be maddening and frustrating. At some point, I’d just wonder, why even bother?
I can’t just take time off work constantly to go see someone. Life doesn’t work that way. I have bills to pay and work to do. How are we going to realistically see each other often enough to maintain a real relationship? It doesn’t seem feasible. It would require way more of a financial and time commitment than I can possibly give.
I would never feel connected enough. It’s about so much more than physical touch — I also require face time with the person I’m seeing. I want to talk to him and see his reactions and communicate non-verbally as well. I think that’s so crucial in building a strong bond with someone. If I were dating long-distance, I simply wouldn’t be in my guy’s actual presence often enough to feel fulfilled.
I wouldn’t bother even attempting it when I know the chance of success is so low. Call me jaded, but I consider myself a realist. The probability of continuing a lengthy long-distance relationship successfully is quite low. Unless there’s a firm end date in the near future, it’s just not going to happen for me. I know myself, and I won’t put in a bunch of work for something I perceive as quite likely to fail.
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