I’m single AF and despite the fact that I don’t want to be, I seriously hate modern dating. Why? Because it’s all about hookup culture. The truth is that I want to find love but I’d rather be alone than have to lower myself to meaningless hookups. Here’s why:
- I want a relationship, not a casual hookup. I get it—people want to keep things casual and simple these days, but in my mind, hooking up rather than having a real relationship is a hell of a lot more complicated. I’m looking for love and commitment, so why play FWB and pretend I’m interested in something that I’m not? I’d rather tell guys exactly what I want from the get-go and have them bow out than waste my time on a guy who only cares about getting me into bed.
- I feel like dating is the only place where I’m considered old-fashioned. Typically, I’m not a very conservative person. When it comes to sex, however, I am but not in the sense that I’m judging other people for what their own sex lives. In fact, I think that’s a personal choice and frankly nobody else’s business. It’s just not what I want for myself. I’m not into the hookup scene. At the end of the day, I have to be true to who I am and meaningless sex just isn’t me.
- I want a guy who actually wants to go on dates. I don’t want to spend all our time on Netflix and chill. I want quality time together where we actually get to know each other’s hearts and not just our bodies. I’m not saying he needs to buy me fancy dinners all the time, I just mean that I want to do more things than just hook up. Real dates that aren’t just about whether the night ends in his bed or mine.
- Sex actually means something to me. Meaningless sex is totally normal in modern dating but that doesn’t mean it has to be normal in my life. Just because it feels like everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean I have to do it too. For me, sex is and will always be about emotion and that’s why I won’t sleep with a man I don’t love.
- I’m sick of wondering if a guy is going to call or text. I don’t want to be waiting by my phone wondering if I actually meant something to him. Honestly, I’m happier being single if it means I don’t have to worry about that kind of crap from a guy. I want to know from day one that we’re both looking for love, not just sex.
- Modern dating makes me feel incredibly alone. I feel like the odd person out. Sometimes it seems like I’m the only person left who doesn’t want to hook up with someone she’s not in love with. I’m in the minority here and there might be plenty of fish in the sea, but my sexual outlook eliminates a lot of them. At the end of the day, I just feel alone, especially when I don’t have any friends who feel the same way.
- I’d rather have no one than have someone I mean nothing to. Why bother having a guy in my life that doesn’t give a damn about me? Why should I devote my time to a guy who only wants to hang out with me if we’re going to hook up? I want a deeper relationship than that. At the end of the day, if a relationship is built on sex and not love, I’d rather be alone.
- I’m more than just a warm body. I want a man who sees that. First and foremost, I want him to fall in love with my heart, brains, personality, and not just my body. The majority of men might just want a woman who will occupy their bed from time to time, but I’m just not that woman. I want love, and that means more than a relationship that’s primarily about sex.
- I’m so tired of the pressure to hook up. It’s my body and my choice, but unfortunately, I’m going against the norm these days. I’m considered strange because I don’t even kiss guys I don’t have a real interest in. Everyone around me can say that a kiss is just a kiss but to me, it’s more than that. If I don’t have the emotions to back up my actions, it just feels wrong to me.
- If hookup culture is what it takes to find love then I’m better off single. I shouldn’t have to sacrifice who I am to find love. That just doesn’t make any sense to me. I want someone who loves me for exactly the person I am, not the person society’s pushing me to be. At the end of the day, I have to be true to myself and if that means I stay single then so be it.
- If there’s a man I’m meant to be with then he’ll think I’m worth the wait. I’m so done with the guys who are so used to hookup culture that they don’t date exclusively if sex isn’t involved. If a guy is dating more than one woman or hooking up with more than just me, then I’m out. I want someone who’s 100 percent into me and doesn’t care if that means waiting for sex until we’re really in love. I’m done with hookup culture and until I find a guy like that, single AF is what I’ll be.
