Read This If You Feel Like You Deserve More Than You’ve Been Getting

Read This If You Feel Like You Deserve More Than You’ve Been Getting ©iStock/lechatnoir

When you happen to be dating a guy who clearly doesn’t recognize your worth, you probably hear the words “you deserve better” from your friends and family more times than you can count. Maybe you even know yourself that it’s true. But if you feel like you deserve more than you’ve been getting, why aren’t you out there getting it?

  1. No one is forcing you to settle. If you truly feel like someone isn’t treating you right, there’s no reason you have to put up with it. You’re the only one gets to decide what is and isn’t good enough for you, so don’t play the victim. You’re allowed to have certain expectations and if he isn’t meeting them, you’re free to walk away.
  2. Sometimes you have to demand what you want. If you’ve set a precedent for putting up with crappy behavior from a guy, he might not realize that you’re not actually happy. Communication is everything in any kind of relationship, serious or casual, and if something isn’t working for you, you’re going to have to speak up if you want anything to change.
  3. You have to be willing to walk away. Once you work up the nerve to let a guy know what you need from him, you have to have the confidence to end things if he’s not willing to make any changes. Ultimatums and empty threats don’t work, at least not long term, so stick to your guns and he’ll respect you a lot more for it.
  4. Stop selling yourself short. Settling is like admitting you don’t deserve everything you want. As long as your expectations are reasonable, there’s absolutely someone out there who will meet all of them and even surpass them. You don’t need to resign yourself to “good enough” just because you think it’s the best you can do.
  5. What you want is always valid. Everyone has different standards, but it’s easy to let outsider opinions influence you every now and then. If everyone is telling you how lucky you are but you still feel like something is missing, you should listen to your gut. No one else knows better than you how you feel.
  6. Some guys will only ever give you the bare minimum. There will always be guys out there who never want to put in more effort than it takes to get you into bed. They don’t want a real relationship and finding casual sex isn’t exactly difficult these days. If it’s pretty obvious what a guy is after and that’s not enough for you, don’t pretend that it is. If you ask for more, you’ll probably never hear from him again — consider it a bullet dodged.
  7. You can do better. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’ll never find anyone else if you walk away from someone who isn’t treating you right. There’s a guy out there who will be everything you’re looking for, but you’ll only find him if you’re paying attention. Besides, being single isn’t exactly anything to complain about.
  8. You don’t need a guy to be happy. If you aren’t happy with a guy, the solution is simple: dump him. Some people think that being in a bad relationship is better than not being in a relationship, but smart women know that is complete BS. There’s more to life than your relationship status, so get out there and figure out what makes you happy.
  9. Do you know what your dealbreakers are? If you’re making excuses for a guy who isn’t treating you right, you need to check your priorities. If you really knew what you wanted, you wouldn’t even bother with this guy, so maybe it’s time to figure it out.
  10. Are you giving him the best in return? You can’t expect a guy to do all the work to keep a relationship going strong. You have to do your part, so make sure you’re treating him right before you decide you deserve better.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.