Read This If He’s Just Not That Into You

Read This If He’s Just Not That Into You ©iStock/Oleh_Slobodeniuk

The first step in moving on is realizing a guy isn’t really interested in you. The next step is accepting it, which tends to be the hardest part. But we’ve all been there at some point and we all got through it, so there’s no reason you can’t get through it too. Just remember this:

  1. You can’t control how someone else feels. Accepting he doesn’t like you the way you want him to also means accepting that there’s nothing you can do about it. It doesn’t matter how much you like him or how hard you try, his feelings are his feelings and you don’t get to dictate them. The sooner you face reality, the sooner you’ll be able to move on.
  2. You’ve been in his position before. He may be the one doing the rejecting this time, but you’ve been that person plenty of times before. You know what it’s like to not be into someone who’s into you and it’s not exactly an easy position to be in. Try not to make it any harder than it has to be… for either of you.
  3. There are plenty more guys out there. So this one guy isn’t into you. Luckily, there are literally millions of other guys out there that might be. Meeting new people and getting to know them can be fun, so get back out there and you’ll have a new crush to replace this one in no time.
  4. There’s nothing wrong with you. Just because he doesn’t like you doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with you. Some people just aren’t compatible and that’s all there is to it. You’re exactly what another guy is looking for so there’s no point in getting hung up on this one guy who didn’t want you.
  5. He’s wrong for you anyway. Even if you thought he was The One, if he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s all the proof you need that he isn’t right for you. You won’t have to convince the right guy that you’re the one for him because he’ll already know it — probably before you do.
  6. Chasing him probably won’t work. Whatever the reason is for his disinterest, it’s unlikely that hounding him will change his mind. The only thing you can really do is leave him alone and if he decides on his own he wants to give you a chance, then he will. But if not, you’ll still have all your pride intact.
  7. At least he’s honest about it. There are plenty of guys out there who would lead you on for as long as it benefited them in some way. If this guy had the decency to let you down easy or at least make it clear he wasn’t feeling it, be grateful. You might expect honesty from guys, but it’s definitely not a guarantee.
  8. It’s okay to be upset. Sometimes putting on a brave face is your first instinct when a guy rejects you because you don’t want to let on that he hurt you and give him any more power than he deserves. But admitting you actually liked him doesn’t have to be the same as admitting weakness. It takes strength to put yourself out there and you should never regret doing it.
  9. Don’t let yourself become jaded. Rejection is never easy to take, but the worst thing you can do is take it personally and decide the world is out to get you. Playing the victim won’t get you anywhere, so after letting yourself wallow for a couple days, it’s time to put this setback behind you and get back out there if you want to find love.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.
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