Read This If You’re Struggling To Get Over Someone

Read This If You’re Struggling To Get Over Someone ©iStock/LuminaStock

Losing the person you love is never easy — in fact, it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do in your life. It will get better, but until it does, remember this:

  1. You’ve gone through this before. Even if a man has never broken your heart this badly, you’ve been screwed over by friends, have been criticized by family, and have seen pets die. You survived those days, didn’t you? Then you can survive this, too.
  2. Keep yourself healthy. I know you’re upset, but that isn’t an excuse for skipping meals, binge drinking, and staying in bed all day. He already broke your heart, but you shouldn’t allow him to destroy your liver, too. Your body deserves to stay healthy, whether you want to take care of it or not.
  3. You aren’t alone. There are friends that are willing to listen to you rant, there are pets that would love to cuddle you to sleep, and there are men on Tinder that are dying to sleep with you. You might feel lonely without your ex, but you’re definitely not alone. You never were and you never will be.
  4. He didn’t take away your happiness. Right now, the tears might be so heavy that it feels like you’re never going to be happy again. But you’re wrong. Deep down, you know you’re wrong, so don’t give in to the illusion that he took away your chance at a happy future, because all he took away were a few happy days in this month.
  5. Love won’t always end this way. Don’t swear yourself off of relationships, just because one man hurt you. Falling in love won’t always end with you falling apart. One day, you’ll find a love that will never die.
  6. It’s not your fault. Repeat those words over and over again in your head, and then say them aloud when you step in front of the mirror. Your looks, your brain, and your personality have nothing to do with why he left. He left, because he thought it was the best move for him, and it was probably the best move for you, too.
  7. Hearts heal. I can’t promise you that you’ll forget about him. I can’t promise you that you’ll ever stop loving him. But I can promise you that your heart will heal enough to live a happy life without him.
  8. Don’t let the memories destroy you. For every happy memory you have with him, there’s a depressing one. Stop thinking about all of the things you’re going to miss about him and start focusing on all of the things you’re glad you won’t ever have to deal with again.
  9. Love exists. While you’re sitting in bed, sheets covered in tissues, it might feel like love is a lie. It might feel like all men are liars and cheats, and that you’re never going to find someone you can trust again. But in the future, when you stumble into a new man who makes you experience new emotions, you’ll realize that love exists and it’s beautiful and it all belongs to you.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.