Maybe you abandoned logic two glasses of wine ago and you can’t help thinking about the good times you shared with them. Maybe you just watched another friend get engaged or married so you’re incredibly sick of being alone. Or maybe you’re just bored, or sad, or you miss them so much and you want to tell them that so bad it hurts. Still, texting them is a bad idea, so here’s why you should suppress that urge.
- You know they don’t have the best intentions. If they’ve hurt you before or they have a habit of only reaching out to you when it serves their needs, texting them won’t do you any good. What’s the point of initiating communication with someone who just wants to take advantage of you? You’re just giving them room to take you for granted or cause you pain again and you should love yourself better than that.
- It’s just loneliness and it’ll pass. It might seem like you’re all alone in the world right now and you need terrified that you won’t find someone to comfort and love you like they did. But you need to remember that loneliness is a part of life. It’s not the first time you’ll feel this way and it won’t be the last. You don’t want to text them because you feel they’re the one, you’re just terrified of how empty you feel. But that feeling won’t last forever. Focus on the wonderful things in your life and pour your frustrations into bettering yourself.
- Remember why you stopped talking to them. It may seem easier to reach out to your ex and start things up again than putting yourself out there and trying to meet someone new, but you need to remind yourself why it’s a bad idea. Think about all the things you hated about them, all the issues you had when you were together. Those things haven’t magically disappeared. They’re still the same person and they can’t give you what you want.
- You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. There’s a good chance that they won’t respond to your message the way you’re hoping for. they might not even reply at all and you’re just going to be angry and embarrassed at yourself. You don’t need to hear them admit they miss you too if it won’t bring you back together or make them finally realize they want to commit to you. Whatever happens won’t be as romantic or satisfying as you imagine.
- It probably won’t end well. I know you think that this time it’ll be different. You think that they’ll see your text and the past would suddenly fade away and you’ll get back together and live happily ever after. But things rarely ever happen that way. You might feel a sense of relief after you hit send, but that’s going to fade quickly. So will the excitement that hits you when they text back. If it’s not meant to be, you’re just going to end up hurting yourself all over again for nothing.
- Texting them won’t give you closure. The only person who can truly give you the closure you seek is yourself. Texting is them is only going to make things more painful for you and prevent you from moving on. Stop trying to revisit the past or change it. It’s already happened. You can’t go back and make the relationship work. All you can do now is concentrate on healing and looking forward to the next best thing.
- Send those texts to yourself instead. Whenever you feel like texting someone you know you shouldn’t be messaging, send those messages to yourself. Or better yet, call up a friend and tell those things to them. This way, you can get the words off your chest, resist the loneliness, and sort out your feelings without any unnecessary complications or heartache.
- You deserve better. You don’t deserve someone who hurts you or makes you feel less than enough. You don’t deserve to struggle to keep someone who can’t make up their mind about what they want. You’re deserving of love that’s easy. A love that proudly claims you. A love that’s certain and healthy and fulfilling. And if they can’t give you that, they don’t deserve to hear from you. Never settle for less than you deserve.