Read This If You’ve Been Single Way Too Long & Just Can’t Even Anymore

Read This If You’ve Been Single Way Too Long & Just Can’t Even Anymore ©iStock/keira01

Have you been single so long that the last time you were coupled up, George W. Bush was in the White House? Do you feel like your single status has become such a major part of your life that you’re totally convinced that’s all people think about when they see you? Are you so completely certain that you’re destined to be single forever that you should just throw in the towel and give the up? Well, if you’ve been single way too long and just can’t even anymore, here are 13 things to remember:

  1. You have standards. When you’ve been single AF for a very long time, you need to remember why that is: Because you’re not going to date just anyone so you can say you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Honestly, you could go out tonight and land yourself a husband or wife if you really wanted to, but you don’t. You have standards and that’s important.
  2. Your top priorities don’t include being in a relationship. You have a life, a career, a dog who loves you more than any partner ever could, and you’d like to learn to learn how to sail. Those are your priorities at the moment, and you know it’s way cooler to be able to sail away into the sunset with you and Fido in matching life jackets.
  3. You don’t believe in settling for anything or anyone. If you won’t settle for sub-par pizza or settle for “no” when your boss denies you a raise, then you’re certainly not going to settle for just anyone for the sake of having a partner. That’s not how you roll.
  4. You understand that there’s nothing wrong with you. While there are far too many women who blame themselves for being single, i.e. thinking there’s something wrong with them, that’s not you. You’re very much aware of the fact that there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, if you had to come up with at least one thing that’s wrong with you, it would be that you’re so awesome you intimidate anyone who comes your way.
  5. You know you deserve someone awesome. And because you’re so awesome, you know you only deserve someone equally as awesome, especially since you’ve always dreamed of being one of those awesome power couples.
  6. You have places to go and a life to live. You bounce around so much that you realize it’s hard to meet someone which, of course, adds to your ongoing singleness, but how else are you supposed to see 40 countries by the time you’re 40?
  7. You don’t have time to “fix” someone else. If you look back at the last couple people you went on dates with, you can probably see a pattern: They all needed to be “fixed” in some way. Do you really have time for that crap? Hell to the no. You’re not some Florence Nightingale.
  8. You don’t equate “alone” with “lonely.” I have too many friends who see being alone as being lonely. Not true. In fact, the words have completely different meanings – something you already know. Sure, you’d like to quit being single, but you know that you’re simply alone at the moment, not lonely.
  9. You believe in doing things on your own terms. Being single for so long may make people think you’re probably stubborn and set in your ways, and they couldn’t be more right. In other words, you know who you are, what you want, and you’re not about to budge on it for anyone.
  10. You know it’s hard for others to keep up with you. You like to jet set, run marathons, and dance until dawn. You have a to-do list that’s a mile long and finding someone who wants to join in on the fun isn’t just a feat, but near-impossible. You’re not about to put your life on hold for someone who can’t keep up with you.
  11. You’d rather be happy and alone than partnered up and only sort of happy. Because we’ve already determined that you know the difference between “lonely” and “alone,” then we already know that you’re not afraid of being alone. Happy and alone is a better position to be in than being in a relationship and not really feeling it.
  12. You already have one hell of a support group. Although a partner can have your back, if you look around you know you already have about a dozen people who would give their right arm for you. So it’s not like you’re in desperate need of finding one more to add to that group. It would be nice, of course, but you know it’s not necessary.
  13. You’re not ready to make room for someone else. Yes, you’ve been single af forever and ever, and you fear you’ll never find love again, but when you look around at your life, are you willing to make compromises for someone else right now? If you were, you probably wouldn’t have been single for so long. Takeaway? You’re doing just fine and when you’re ready, you won’t be single anymore.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.