There are plenty of reasons to move in with your boyfriend – after all, you spend all your time together anyway, and it’s just the logical next step in your relationship. But living together isn’t the be all, end all. There’s a lot of pressure from society to follow a certain relationship timeline, whether you really feel like you’re ready or not. Before you combine all your stuff and commit to having him around all the time, there are a few things you need to ask yourself to figure out whether it’s really what you want, or if you’re not quite ready to cohabitate just yet.
How do you resolve arguments?
You’re always going to have arguments, especially once you’re living together and are there to get on each other’s nerves every day. It’s how you resolves those fights that determine whether you have what it takes to make it work.
Are you both able to hold up your end of the financial bargain?
Do not – I repeat, DO NOT – move in with a guy who has never paid rent in his life and doesn’t have a job. This should be a no-brainer. You should have an agreed upon percentage of the bills you’re both responsible for paying every month. If you don’t think he can stick to it, don’t move in with him. Period.
Do you already spend most nights together anyway?
If you’re both paying for your own apartments but you spend most of your time together at only one of them, then you’re just throwing money away. Not to mention you already know you don’t get sick of each other easily, which is probably a good sign.
How well do you get along on overnight trips together?
Do you end up fighting every time you go on a trip? Red flag. A couple of days together is nothing compared to what will sometimes feel like all of eternity spent under the same roof.
Are you comfortable with him seeing you at your worst?
By “your worst”, we don’t mean without makeup. Think about it. You share a bathroom now, so chances are he’s going to see you when you are deathly ill after you ate bad seafood and it’s coming out both ends. You can’t hide your most basic bodily functions anymore.
Are you comfortable seeing him at his worst?
This goes both ways. There is nowhere else to go, and you probably both ate that seafood.
Have you said The L-Word?
That might be a good indication that the two of you are on the same page, and you might consider living together a step towards a common goal.
What’s the pet situation?
Are you willing to tolerate (and probably help take care) of his cat, dog, ferret and beta fish or vice-versa? If you aren’t sure, maybe a pet compromise is in order before moving in.
Are your eating habits compatible?
He refuses to allow a single cookie in the house ever. The sight of raw meat makes you woozy. How flexible are you on your strict dietary choices, and can a fitness nut and a vegan live under the same roof harmoniously?
Is this a “for now” thing or a “for the long haul” thing?
You might as well be honest about where you see this going, because when you live together, it isn’t as easy as just never texting him back if he starts to act crazy.
How do you feel about his level of tidiness?
If he’s disgusting at his own place, he’s going to be just as disgusting when you move in together. Only now, he’ll have you to clean up after him. Are you interested in a second, non-paying job as his personal maid?
Do you like his friends?
If you live together, there are going to be nights where his friends congregate on your couch to yell at the TV – during especially heated sessions of Call of Duty. If this is a big problem for you, you might want to keep your living spaces separate for now.
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