Quality over quantity was always my motto when it came to friendships, but when I began making the guest list for my wedding, I came to the realization that I didn’t have as many friends as I thought.
I needed to have a minimum of 150 guests at our venue. My fiancé and I secured the first venue we visited. It was perfect; the room was beautiful and offered fantastic views. The menu was delicious and the price was right, so we went for it! The only catch was that we needed to have a minimum of 150 guests or we had to reach a specific dollar amount for our bill.
Meeting this minimum was more difficult than we thought. Although my fiancé and I live in Tennessee, we’re having the wedding in New England where I’m from and where my family is. We knew this meant that most of my fiancé’s family wouldn’t be able to make it and that was OK. But as we made our guest list, even after inviting his family, we only had about 130 people. Meeting that 150 minimum just wasn’t going to happen.
Creating my guest list was kind of depressing. I added all my family members, of course—I have a pretty big family. Plus, we’re pretty close to the families of my dad’s cousins and their kids. That helped bulk up the list a bit, but when I started thinking about which friends to invite, I felt a little stuck.
Most of my friends live all over. The friends that I’m closest with actually live all over the country. One lives in Tennessee, another in New York, a third in Texas (who continues to move all over since her husband is in the Army), and then there’s my friend from home. There were a few here and there I invited that also live in other states, but when it came down to it, the friends I felt close enough to invite was quite small.
Am I that bad at making friends? I’ve always known I was bad at making friends. I’m not sure what the problem is. It’s not that I don’t like having friends or that I don’t like spending time with these friends, I’m just the kind of person who’s very private and shy. I enjoy staying in and my alone time. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but it still kind of hurt that I didn’t have a big group of friends to invite.
Of all the friends I considered my best friends, only one is coming. One. That’s it. I understand that most of them can’t come because it means taking a big trip. I get that, but it still kind of hurts. I was able to enjoy all of their weddings and I can’t share my special day with them.
My wedding party consists of two people. When it came to deciding who to have in my wedding party, I decided to keep it simple. My sister and my brother’s girlfriend (who I have no doubt will become my sister in law someday). I actually don’t understand how women have 10 bridesmaids. Who has that many friends?! I could have asked a few other friends, but I had a feeling that some of them might not be able to make it. I guess I was right!
Friendships don’t always last forever. I’ve heard it and seen it before—lots of people invite friends to their wedding or have friends in their wedding party that they have a falling out with so years later, these people aren’t in their lives. I hope that doesn’t happen with my friends, but that at least gives me some solace that it’s OK if these people can’t come.
My family is pretty awesome. Because of the minimum, I’m actually able to invite more family members, which is great! My family is a blast and I know that my wedding is going to be so much fun. I’m not letting myself get too upset about my lack of friends at my wedding. It’s going to be a great time no matter what, that’s the important thing. And I can’t wait for it!