Are You Really Into Him Or Just Bored With Nothing Better To Do?

When dating becomes too much to handle, some people start looking for something that simply works rather than actually falling in love. Sometimes, though, the line between a true romance and a convenient one can be blurred. If you’re not sure if you’re really crazy about your partner or just staying with him because it’s easier than breaking up, this is how you can tell if your love is the real thing:

  1. You’re not afraid of being single. The idea of losing him is way worse than the idea of being alone. You know that your world would be less bright without him in it. You’re an independent woman, and you’re not concerned about living life without a man — it’s living without this particular man that would leave you sad and lonely.
  2. You want to take the next step. If your relationship is moving forward only because that’s what you think you’re SUPPOSED to do, then that’s a huge problem. You don’t move in together or get married because you’re at the right age or because all of your friends are doing it. Each step of commitment should be taken for one reason and one reason only: you love each other.
  3. Hanging out together isn’t a chore. You see each other because you actually want to spent quality time together, not because you’re supposed to. Many couples who stick together for convenience don’t even bother to go on dates anymore. There’s nothing special or even happy about the time they spend together. It’s just easy, and the fact that their relationship doesn’t take work is exactly the reason they stay together.
  4. You worry about each other. When you’re in a relationship held together by convenience, you don’t worry about each other because frankly, you don’t really care. His problems are his alone, and the same goes for yours. If it’s true love, though, you’ll help each other through the bad times no matter how rough things get. Real couples are there for each other — convenient couples are just living separate lives in the same house.
  5. You know exactly why you love him. If someone asked you why you love the man you’re with, the question wouldn’t stump you. In fact, it would be hard to stop explaining why. You love every detail and embrace every flaw, because that’s what makes him who he is. You love the man, not just the relationship.
  6. You’re happy, not just content. Being in a convenient relationship is easy. He doesn’t excite you and you could never gush about how much you love him, but at least your relationship doesn’t take work. When you’re really in love, though, you’re not just content with settling for what’s easy. You don’t care about how much work or effort it takes, because at the end of the day, he truly brings joy to your life.
  7. You don’t have to question your love. You don’t worry about whether or not he loves you or if you really love him. When it’s real, you just know. You’re confident in your relationship and your love for each other. You don’t wonder if it’s forever or if you love him less than the day you did before.
  8. There’s real passion. You’re not just in love — you’re crazy about each other. It’s not the sex, either. You’re attracted to each other’s minds just as much as your bodies. It’s about wanting to be with each other. Passion is missing each other when you’re apart, not just ripping your clothes off when you’re together.
  9. You care enough to fight. Every couple has their disagreements, but the couples that are really in love don’t just sweep it under the rug. You compromise and work for solutions. It’s not easy. In fact, it takes a lot of work, but you’re willing to make the effort because you actually care about the relationship. You’re not fighting with each other — you’re fighting FOR each other, and that makes all the difference.
  10. You act like a couple, not roommates. You’re not just discussing bills or schedules. Your relationship is more than that. Your lives are intertwined in each other, and you have actual emotional conversations. Coming home to each other isn’t just routine, because even on your very worst days, it’s the thing that makes you happy.
  11. You actually want to talk about the future. Why? Because your relationship is actually going somewhere. If you’re both afraid to talk about where you’re headed, it’s probably because you’re headed in different directions. Convenient relationships focus on right now, but people in love aren’t afraid to plan for forever.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.