Do You Really Like This Guy Or Do You Just Hate Being Alone?

Do You Really Like This Guy Or Do You Just Hate Being Alone?

Sometimes being single sucks. You have to field questions from distant family members and even friends about whether you’re ever going to settle down. You have the pleasure of showing up at things like weddings and game nights, sans date. And despite all logic, you sometimes wonder if you’re going to be end up an old maid, single and miserable for life. It’s understandable if all that gets overwhelming and you think screw it, this guy will do. But if you really think about it, being single is a lot better than being in a mediocre relationship. So next time you think about settling for Mr. Right Now, consider if it’s really worth it.

  1. You’re constantly making excuses for him. You know he’s not perfect, but you’ve become an expert at rationalizing why his flaws are totally fine. You don’t mind that he’s a slob because you’ve learned that you should be less uptight. Right. Your friends totally believe you. *side eye*
  2. You’re holding back from really committing. You know that your relationship is fast approaching that stuff or get off the pot crossroads, and you’re dreading it. Maybe if you do the casual dating thing for another couple months, things will change. Here’s a tip— they won’t.
  3. He can annoy you without breaking a sweat. Every little habit and quirk that you should find adorable and endearing has the ability to irritate the hell out of you. You’ve gotten to the point where you’re fine with just being in a bad mood most of the time,— it actually feels normal.
  4. You don’t want the same things. You’re fully aware that you don’t have the same future in mind, but you’d rather just be in denial about it than face it head on. You’re going to milk this relationship for all it’s worth, because the single status looming in your future isn’t exactly appealing.
  5. You’re constantly pushing back the date you plan to break up with him. You’ve been thinking about it for a few months, but there’s always some function that you absolutely cannot attend alone. Your cousin’s wedding is next week, you’ll dump him after that. Or maybe you’ll just take him to your friend’s cottage next month, and do it after that. Like right after.
  6. You can go days without talking and not really care. As long as you know he’s there in case you do want to talk to him, you’re satisfied. He’s like an on-call boyfriend. There for emergencies, but practically non-existent otherwise.
  7. You have no desire to meet his friends or family. You know he’s just a place holder until you find someone better, so why put anyone through the hassle of unnecessary introductions? You’re really doing everyone a favor here.
  8. You’re still on Tinder. Just because you’re with this guy right now doesn’t mean you can’t still keep your eyes peeled for someone better. You wouldn’t want to risk being alone for a couple months, so it’s always good to have the next guy waiting on deck.
  9. You’re a serial monogamist. If you haven’t actually been single since you were 14, don’t tell me you’ve been head over heels in love with every guy you’ve ever been in a relationship with. You jump from relationship to relationship and never really give yourself time to figure out what you want. If that’s not a sign of someone who is terrified of the big bad world of singledom, I don’t know what is.
  10. You ignore all the red flags. So what if he doesn’t have a steady job, still lives in mom’s basement, sleeps until noon every day, and has no intention of ever changing? He’s a warm body, and that’s better than nothing.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo