You meet someone, go on a fun first date, the sparks fly and you agree to see them again. Soon you’re sleeping at their place more nights than not and suddenly you’re in a committed relationship. But the more you get to know them, you realize there’s something wrong. You suspect they’re depressed. Being in love with someone who is struggling is definitely not easy and it will start to affect you, too. While everyone’s love story is different, there are a few common threads to this type of relationship.
- You’ll spend a lot of time talking. While this is usually a good thing – a relationship needs communication, after all – an insecure person will want to go over everything a million times. You will be compassionate the first few months of your relationship and then it will be difficult to always be the person who has to reassure them.
- You’ll feel helpless. It’s awful to see the person that you love suffer and unfortunately you will feel pretty powerless to help them.
- You’ll realize that only they can choose to get better. Depression is so horrible because you can’t force someone to change. No matter how many times you suggest that your boyfriend get some help or talk to someone, he won’t agree unless he truly wants to get better
- The relationship may fail because of it. You know that feeling like you’re on the same team is crucial to a successful relationship. Having a partner who is struggling may make you feel like you’re two completely different planets. And unfortunately, they may start to resent you for being happy or trying to live your life.
- They may not want to let you in. Your partner may feel you wouldn’t understand so they keep everything inside, which will only frustrate you and make things worse.
- The relationship will become less fun. When being with someone is tiring, it’s a sure sign that things are going south.
- You won’t truly be living life. If your boyfriend just wants to stay home all weekend, you’ll feel guilty leaving him alone so you’ll stay home, too. And then you won’t end up really living life.
- You may feel less secure in the relationship. If there’s less sex or even intimacy in general, you will feel less connected to the person you love, and that’s never a good thing.
- But… if you get through it, you’ll be closer than ever. That saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” definitely applies here. Having a partner with depression doesn’t always mean your relationship is doomed. If they decide to get treatment, you could have a better bond than ever before.
