I Really Like Him, But I’m Paranoid He’s Going To Lose Interest

There’s this guy I like — and I mean REALLY like — but I’m not entirely sure if he likes me quite as much. In fact, I’m almost certain that he’s going to lose interest in me any day now. I always choose to set myself up for disappointment in relationships rather than success because then you can’t get hurt, right? Here’s why I never get too excited when I start dating someone new:

  1. There are a million other girls in this city who are probably cooler, prettier, or more successful than me. Whenever I get excited about a guy, I always remember that there are a million other girls who could probably make him happy, if not happier. I don’t believe in the whole “soulmates” thing and that there’s only one person out there who’s meant for me. I do, however, believe that there are about 1 in 100 people who could probably be my true love. There are a ton of beautiful girls out there who can give him everything I can and more, so why would I be so naive to think that I’m “The One”?
  2. Why would he settle for just one girl when he doesn’t have to? I find it hard to believe that any guy would choose to be with just me when they can date every girl on the block. In this day and age, it’s getting harder and harder to stick to just one person. I feel like most of my friends are in open relationships or are at least thinking about one. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes what he’s missing out on. I’m just mentally preparing myself for when he inevitably stops liking me decides to move on to someone else.
  3. I feel like he’s out of my league anyway. I already kinda know that he’s a bit too good for me, so however long this little rendezvous lasts is fine with me. I’m actually just excited that someone like him would even want to hang out with someone like me in the first place. I’ll enjoy it for what it is and if it grows into something more, then that’s great. I’m not going to get my hopes up just to be disappointed down the road.
  4. My relationships never seem to last beyond a few months, so why would this be any different? I guess my past has shown me that dating someone for only two or three months is all I’m really capable of, so when we pass that initial honeymoon phase, I’m basically counting down the minutes until it all comes to an end. I’m not being pessimistic, I’m just being realistic.
  5. Once he discovers the real me, he’ll probably lose attraction. I’m not exactly the easiest person to date and I know that. Once he realizes what a needy, insecure, drama queen I am, he’ll definitely jump ship. No one has been able to handle “the real me” yet, so why would he be any different?
  6. He probably doesn’t even want a serious relationship right now. Like most guys his age, he’s probably just looking for some tail and that’s it. I doubt that a 25-year-old dude who lives in a big city is looking for a relationship. He’s no doubt more focused on his career and playing the field right now and that’s totally cool. I’m not about to put myself out there when he’s probably not even interested in pursuing something in the first place.
  7. Everyone seems to have relationship ADD. There has never been a time in history where people are more unfocused in relationships. The second we get involved with someone, we’re listing all the reasons why we should get out of it. We keep our Tinder accounts active well into the courtship and neither of us wants to DTR because we don’t want our freedom to get taken away. This is my generation, and this is why I never get too excited about any guy I date.
  8. I think I might be confusing him. I like this guy, I really do, but I think the fact that I’m giving him mixed signals is going to make him eventually lose interest. I’ll show him that I like him, but then act all aloof because I don’t wanna go “all in” and potentially get hurt by admitting how much I like him, which then makes him get all weird and aloof. Why would a guy want to be with a girl who isn’t totally sure about the relationship? I honestly don’t blame him if he moves on.
  9. I’m not your typical girl. I’m a bit of a weirdo and it takes a specific person to be attracted to me. Let me use an analogy to explain; I’m like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and everyone else in the world is either chocolate or vanilla — the most common yet most loved ice cream flavors. The odds that someone really loves chocolate chip cookie dough is a lot rarer than someone loving chocolate or vanilla. This is why I assume he’s going to walk away unless he’s a chocolate chip cookie dough fan like me.
  10. I’m really bad at communicating. Both in person, over the phone and through text. I’ll respond to text messages more than 24 hours later just because I’ll not have my phone on me or just want to take my time replying. I’m not the easiest person to get a hold of and I have a feeling that he’ll end up taking offense to that. I mean, other guys definitely have. Right now I’m just waiting for him to stop responding to my messages.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.