Does He Really Like You Or Does He Say This BS To Everyone?

Does He Really Like You Or Does He Say This BS To Everyone? ©iStock/Astarot

When you finally meet someone who seems to say all the right things, it feels like you’ve won the lottery. After all, finding a guy you have serious conversational chemistry with is one of the true challenges of single life — it’s like finding a dating unicorn or a bar with fewer than five ironically-bearded hipsters. But beware: certain flirtatious men have learned exactly what you want to hear, and you may not be the only one eating up their well-rehearsed act. Here are some signs he’s BS’ing you:

  1. He’s too agreeable. When you meet a guy and he seems totally enthralled with everything you do, it’s flattering. However, agreeing with your opinions and applauding your every thought is a pretty simple technique for quickly winning you over. If he’s just telling you what you want to hear, he probably isn’t really listening.
  2. He’s always followed by a flock. He’s constantly surrounded by a throng of girls who look more like a fan club than a friend group. If it’s pretty difficult for you to tear him away from his girl posse, you can bet he’s using the same lines on everyone. He may say that they’re all just friends, but most likely a lot of those girls are also wondering where they stand with this flirty guy.
  3. He’s mimicking your tastes, not expressing his own. You can’t believe your luck! You’ve found someone who also adores Adele, weekends at the art house movie theater and quality craft beer… or you’ve found someone who’s parroting everything you say. He may seem like your perfect match, but he probably told the girl at the other end of the bar how much he loves punk bands, hiking and kayaking on Saturday mornings and drinking strong whiskey.
  4. He’s recycling and repeating. You sometimes find him retelling you the same funny stories or anecdotes. To be fair, everyone does this to a degree, but if he’s a player who uses the same material on multiple women, you’ll probably catch him doing it more often.
  5. He’s had his heart broken recently and he loves to talk about it. Whether he’s actually been in a relationship that ended badly or he’s making it up, a master manipulator will know exactly how to use this seemingly sincere tactic. Not only does his story of recent heartbreak win him pity points from you, but he’ll also be sure to mention how you seem so different from his crazy ex. You’ll be touched that he feels comfortable being vulnerable in front of you, and flattered that he thinks you’re girlfriend material — and that’s just what he wants.
  6. He asks questions that sound thoughtful but really aren’t. How cute, he wants to know your middle name? Assuming he’s not trying to steal your identity (it’s always good to check), it seems like a thoughtful question to get to know you better. But do basic questions like this really tell him more about your character or are they just meant to appear that way? You can bet that you’ll hear him call another girl by her middle name in the near future.
  7. All of your friends have a crush on him. He’s not a bad looking guy, but really? All of your friends like him too? You thought you made a special connection during your conversation, but your bestie is saying the same thing. Clearly you’re dealing with an expert operator who knows how to keep his options open while playing multiple girls.
  8. He gives you a funny nickname. Having a guy give you a nickname can make you feel special, like you have an inside joke that only the two of you share. It can also be an updated version of the classic technique of calling girls “baby” or “honey” instead of remembering their names. If the nickname helps him recall where he met you or some other detail about you, he may be using it to keep the many women in his phone contacts straight. After all, which Jennifer are you?
  9. No one seems to know if he’s available. If you’re already falling for this sweet talker, you’re probably trying to figure out if he’s single. But, everyone you ask seems unsure if he’s dating someone or not. This can happen when a guy is dating so many girls at once that no one really knows if he’s officially with any of them. Not a good sign if you’re looking for more than a fling.
  10. He’s a bartender. If this guy you’re wondering about is a bartender, it’s literally his job to charm everyone who walks in. Don’t take it personally if he doesn’t want to start a long-term relationship. Instead, enjoy the string-free flirtation knowing full well that yes, he does say this BS to everyone.
Maddy Aaron lives, writes, and eats a significant number of tacos in NYC. Seamus Finnigan once wrote her a personalized letter that included the words "MAN U. Rule!" When she's not doing the stuff on the InterWebs, Maddy spends way too much time at the movies, discusses the falling hot dog quality in the neighborhood with her roommate, and intimidates men with her Gilmore Girls and Harry Potter trivia knowledge.