If He’s Really A “Good Guy,” Doing These 10 Things Will Come Naturally

If He’s Really A “Good Guy,” Doing These 10 Things Will Come Naturally ©iStock/Neustockimages

Lots of guys claim to be “good guys” who are so misunderstood by women but oddly enough, they’re often the same guys who lie, play the field and act as if they’re entitled to sex. Realistically, those guys aren’t really good at all; they’re dirtbags. If a guy is actually good, he’ll give you these unmistakable signs:

  1. He’ll actually listen when you talk. It’s obvious when you have someone’s full attention and when you don’t. A guy who’s actually nice won’t just pretend to listen to you long enough to get some; he’ll actually listen because he legitimately gives a crap about what you’re saying. If you’ve been single for a long time, that probably sounds too good to be true, but those kinds of guys really do exist and they’re worth waiting for.
  2. He’ll text you first, no game playing required. If he’s legitimately nice, you won’t feel the need to worry about texting him too soon and possibly getting ghosted or called “crazy.” Why? Because he’ll be just as excited to talk to you, and he’ll show you  by initiating the conversation. Even if you’re used to being forced into playing dumb dating games, you’ll be able to tell the difference when you meet an actual nice guy.
  3. He’ll be honest about his feelings. While a “nice guy” will remain aloof, desperately trying to keep you around in an informal capacity, a guy who’s actually nice will want to express his feelings because he’ll want to know if you feel the same way and he’ll actually care about the possibility of having a real future with you. Novel, isn’t it?
  4. He’ll let down his walls and open up to you. When you find a genuine connection with a great guy, he won’t feel the need to play tough and pretend he doesn’t have weaknesses; he’ll want to let you in so that you can get to know who he really is. Even the toughest people need an ally sometimes.
  5. He’ll respect your autonomy. “Nice guys” have a tendency to turn into disrespectful dirtbags quickly as soon as they’re not getting their way, but actual nice guys offer a refreshing departure from that BS. If a guy is actually nice, he’ll respect your independence, your opinions, and your decisions because he respects you as a person.
  6. He’ll never act like you owe him anything. If you’ve ever been on a date with the kind of guy who actually expects sex in exchange for a burger and a couple beers, you understand what kind of sick BS that is. A guy who’s actually worth a damn will do nice things for you because he likes making you happy, not because he wants to get in your pants.
  7. He’ll plan actual dates ahead of time. While players ignore you for days and then randomly text “You up?” in the middle of the night, legitimately nice guys plan dates because they actually want to spend time with you, not just have sex. Don’t sell yourself short; don’t settle for the late-night booty call text when you know you deserve the romantic picnic in the park.
  8. He’ll make it worth your while to try again. Even if you’ve been burned pretty badly in the past and lost your faith in mankind, the introduction of someone new in your life can inspire you to try again for the future you’ve always dreamed of. It’s amazing how much better dating is when you stop dating dirtbags and go for good guys instead.
  9. He’ll be open to commitment. A guy who’s actually nice won’t aspire to string you along without a commitment. If things are going well, he’ll want to give it an honest chance to work out because he’ll be more concerned about having you in his life than he is about sleeping with other women.
  10. He’ll help you become the best version of yourself. A good guy will know all about your dreams and goals because he listens, and he’ll encourage you to achieve everything you want. This is the kind of person you want in your life, because he’ll make you look forward to the future in ways you never have before.


Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.