First dates can be totally awful. Nerves can make you behave in weird ways that give the person you’re with an impression of you that’s anything but true. This is a total bummer when the guy is awesome but you were a hot mess. Luckily, there are a few things you can do even while you’re being a weirdo that can snag a second date — and another chance to prove you’re not completely nuts.
- Admit that you’re nervous. This can win you huge brownie points. If you admit upfront you’re a bit nervous he will probably be stoked because it will let him know you dig him. He’s probably super nervous too and will really like that he isn’t the only one. Being honest is also a plus, and he’ll probably think you’re cute and funny on top of that. Score.
- Don’t give a speech; have a conversation. Nerves are okay, but if you’re dominating all of the conversation with craziness, he won’t want to see you again, even if he thinks its cute. Take a deep breath and try to be a good listener too. He’ll be more interested in seeing you again if he knows he can talk too. Plus, when you ramble, you run the risk of blurting something out you didn’t mean to say, and that can be hard to bounce back from.
- Don’t be afraid to be chatty. On the flip side, don’t be weird and quiet either. He definitely won’t want to see you again if you barely speak. Let it be natural, take a deep breath, and engage in conversation. It’s okay to be nervous, as mentioned above, but don’t let your nerves get your tongue, too. He’ll want to see you again if make an effort to overcome your nerves and be a good conversationalist.
- Offer to at least split the tab. Even if he doesn’t let you, this will show him up front that you see him as more than free dinner or a cash cow. He probably won’t let you pay for it, but he will see you as more of a partner than a quirky first date. With dating apps making it so easy to score a date, I’ve heard a lot of guys complain they’re just being used for their wallets. Don’t be the girl who makes a man say that.
- Laugh at his jokes. Even if you laugh groaningly to let him know it wasn’t an awesome joke, he’ll know you have a good sense of humor and are willing to play along. If he’s looking for a potential partner, he wants someone good-natured and fun. That’s you, right? Of course it is. Chances are, he’s making these jokes because he wants to impress you and is nervous, so throw the man a bone and let him know his efforts aren’t going unnoticed. He will definitely want to spend more time with you if you do.
- Don’t overshare. He doesn’t need to know every single thing about you in one night. If you tell him everything, you may scare him off and he won’t have a reason to see you again. Overdoing it could just make it seem like you’re dumping your entire life story in his lap, which is not a fun date at all. Keep some mystery so he wants to learn more and he will call again.
- Don’t have sex with him. I know this is an unpopular response, but according to my husband (the in-house expert on this topic obviously), sex on the first date is more likely to turn him off than make him more into you — especially if you guys had awesome conversation and “spark” anyway. You don’t need to have sex with him to keep him interested, I promise. Not every guy is like this, but it’s worth waiting until after the second date if you like him anyway.
- Avoid the more awkward topics. Your ex? Off limits. Your drama with your sister? Also a no. Anything that might be too personal or make you get emotional — which will make him feel awkward on a first date — is a no go. He wants to know who you are and what you’re like before he knows all of your baggage.