Why You Really Will End Up With The Person That You Least Expect To

You totally get that everyone has their flaws and that expecting to find the perfect guy is lame but you also know who you want to be your future boyfriend. The thing is, you’re not going to end up with him. In fact, your guy might be the total opposite—here’s why:

  1. Real love is a surprise. No one can plan for love—it literally just happens. Okay, you might be actively dating so you expect to have a good date one of these days, but love is a different story. It’s going to shock you and feel like it came out of nowhere. Since love itself is always a surprise, it makes sense that the guy that you love is going to be different than you thought. He might be more of a nerd, less into his career, or quieter than you thought you would like. But you will like him. A lot.
  2.  Your guard will be down. When you’re at the right time and place to fall in love, you’re not thinking about dating games or playing it cool or wondering if you should pretend to like someone less than they like you. You’ll want to be obvious about your feelings.
  3. Every step will be different. If you’re single, your first dates probably end without a mention of a second date. It sucks but you get used to it. When you meet the right guy, you’ll be totally taken aback because he might even bring up another date in the middle of the first one. Everything will feel different because he’s going to make sure that he doesn’t let you go.
  4.  You won’t care what anyone else thinks. At the beginning of your dating journey, you care a lot about what your best friends think. You ask them for dating advice after every date and would never dream of keeping any new from them. Once you get over that and get more used to dating, you’re not going to need so much feedback and you won’t care if anyone likes the new guy in your life. You’ll just care that you like him.
  5. You might not even know who you want to be with. This is one of those “you won’t know until it happens” things. Sure, you can say that you want a guy with brown hair and a career in finance and a love of camping… but when you meet that dude, he might be totally boring and underwhelming. The right guy for you might not look anything like who you always thought you would be with, and it’s going to be amazing.
  6. You’ve dated every other type of guy. Let’s be real here: by the time you meet your person, you’ve been dating for a while—sometimes for much longer than you really want to admit. You’ve probably dated most kinds of guys, from the slackers to the artists to the bros, and so you might give another type a try. There’s no reason not to give him a shot.
  7. You’ll go with your gut, not your mind. Your tendency to overthink things can be super frustrating when you’re single and dating. You ask yourself a ton of questions about every guy that you meet and you wonder how he fits into your life or if he’s worth a second date. When you’ve met the right guy, though, you’re going to stop listening to your mind and start listening to your gut instincts. You won’t even really make the decision. You’ll just know that you should be with him. Pretty cool.
  8. It’s happened to enough people. There’s no point comparing yourself to other people in anything in life and it’s especially true of relationships. And yet this is one time when you might want to. There are tons of stories out there about people who were just friends with their now husband at first or who weren’t sure that they were even into them. Then they found an amazing love that lasted.
  9. Love at first sight probably isn’t a thing. If you believe in this, then all the power to you, but you might not. It’s hard to in this land of dating apps and confusing “Are we dating or hanging out?” questions. Since love at first sight might not exist, you might not think that you’re going to end up with the guy that you do. It might take a few dates or a few weeks to realize that he’s the one for you and you’re going to be shocked (in the best way possible).
  10. You won’t see anything wrong with him. Having dating regrets is silly since you make the right decision for you at the time and you can’t do more than that. Once you get to a place where you’re about to meet the person who will change everything, you’re not going to be looking for red flags, and that’s going to be a huge change. You won’t be bothered by anything that he says or does because it’s right and you don’t want to ruin it.
  11. You’ll be truly ready for love. People always say that love is all about timing. You might believe that or you might think it’s a bunch of crap. You can’t argue with the fact that when you meet someone is just as important as who they are. When you do meet the guy that you’ve been waiting for, you’re going to be more ready than ever before and you won’t care that he’s a bit different than you thought or that he’s a big surprise. You’ll absolutely love that, and that’s awesome.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.