How To Recover After Sending A Stupid AF Text To That Guy You Like

Even though sending a really regrettable text to the guy you’re into feels like the very end of this crazy and terrible world, never fear! There are ways you can fix it and even turn it into a positive. So before you throw your phone in the sink and pour yourself a “please let me forget my entire life” bathtub of wine, cast your eyes on this list of ways to recover from your mortification and rejoice.

Don’t apologize. Women do enough of this already. There’s no need to add to the cascade of unnecessary apologies that society forces us into. More importantly, though, there’s nothing to apologize for. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and as far as mistakes go, an embarrassing text to the guy you like is a minor, minor offense. It’s not like it’s hurting him in any way. He might even kind of like it.

Do a little self-care. Sometimes the best we can do is to simply remind ourselves that we have our own back. Pour some wine, apply a face mask, light a few candles, because you will always take care of yourself, even when you can hardly stand your own impulsiveness and lack of filter. Take yourself out. Remind yourself there are more fish in the sea. Eat some ice cream to keep your body blissed out. Give yourself a hug. You’ve got you.

Try turning your phone off for a few minutes or more. If you can turn it off for a few hours, even better. Just separate yourself from leaping five feet in the air the second you feel even the slightest vibration that could indicate a notification. Studies have shown that turning off your phone can drastically reduce stress levels, and that seems particularly true in a texting-gone-wrong situation. Also, it gives you the power. If your phone is off, you’re choosing whether or not to hear from him.

Find the funny as soon as you possibly can. Today’s tragedy is tomorrow’s comedy or whatever. At least it’s good to tell yourself that. And let’s be honest guys, sometimes the stuff girls send to dudes they’re into is pretty hilarious. Like, publishable comedy. Actual take-it-to-the-comedy-club level one-liners. So take a minute to feel mortified and on the verge of actual annihilation, and then laugh about it because it’s funny and everything is just fine.

Act confident and no one will question you. No matter how regrettable and embarrassing your text situation is, there’s always the option of just pretending it was exactly what you meant to say and refusing to admit that you are actually dying of shame inside. Most of the time, if you act confident about something, people will take you at face value and think you were just being bold and witty. And a lot of guys really dig bold, witty girls, so what have you actually got to lose?

Wait for him to respond. Even though it’s perfectly plausible that the text you’re tearing your hair out over was embarrassing and a mistake, it is surprising how often texts that we assume will end us end up being barely noticed by the person receiving them. And more importantly, if you’ve just admitted to being into him and are beating yourself up about it, he could be texting you right this second to say, “OMFG I’ve been obsessed with you since the first time I saw you!” Point being: you’re not the one who gets to determine whether it was a dumb text or not.

Enlist your friends to distract you. Everyone has sent a dumb text to a person they’re into at least once in his or her life, so just talk to one of your friends about it. Chances are they’ve been in an identical situation pretty recently and will be able to help or commiserate with you. Maybe they can distract you with something even more embarrassing that happened to them, or, worst case scenario, they do what friends do best and scream all your best qualities at you over the phone while you sit in a pile of tissues and mourn your lost love.

Find some perspective. Whenever you experience a seemingly momentous event such as this, it’s good to ask yourself: “In the grand scheme of things, does this really matter?” If you’re really honest with yourself, the answer is probably “not really.” You are still alive. The guy you texted is still alive. Beyoncé continues to slay. The universe persists. So, you know, it’s not a total disaster.

Consider in-person damage control and leave it at that. If the text is truly as bad as you think it is, remind yourself that texting got you into the situation and will therefore most definitely not help you get out of it. So if you absolutely must think about “fixing” the whole thing, just figure out what you’re going to do when you see him in person instead of what you could text him.

Remind yourself that you’re an effing queen. Look, guys are a necessary part of life, and while a small handful of them might actually be awesome people, you don’t need any of them when it comes down to it. You’ve got you, and you’re a rockstar. So forget about whatever you texted, and get on with being the badass piece of gold you are and don’t let the thought of any man get you down. No matter how he responds, remember you’re royalty.

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