8 Red Flags In His Online Dating Profile That You Should Never Ignore

8 Red Flags In His Online Dating Profile That You Should Never Ignore ©iStock/Geber86

It’s hard to meet guys organically these days, so many of us turn to online dating when we’re looking for our next relationship. And while it’s easier to find guys we have more in common with this way, we still only know what they choose to tell us about themselves, some of which probably isn’t even true. Is there any way to read between the lines and weed out the losers right away? Not entirely, but there are definitely some major red flags that indicate he’s definitely not worth it.

  1. Most of his pictures are at least semi-nude and one goes all the way down to his happy trail. It’s great to have a nice body and perfectly OK to be proud of it, but this kind of attention-seeking likely says that he’s both a narcissist and a player looking for a quick booty call. If you wouldn’t mind spending one night licking his perfect six-pack, go for it. If you’re looking for something serious, run in the other direction.
  2. He mentions in his profile that he’s “just looking for a girl to have some fun with.” Fun in this case doesn’t mean taking you to the arcade or shopping. His definition of fun is texting “U up?” at 2 am when he’s drunk, dropping by for a quick sex (during which he couldn’t care less if you get off, because it’s all about him), and then leaving. Unless you somehow enjoy being used and treated like crap, just click to the next profile.
  3. Under favorite quotes, he has “bros before hoes.” Not only is this dude’s brain not functioning at a high enough level to have an actual favorite quote, he just let you know that no woman will ever be a priority to him. He’s on that site to find one thing and one thing only, and it’s not a girlfriend or a wife.
  4. The only quality he requires in a woman is a perfect body. If someone is serious, they’ll list that they want to find someone who is smart, funny, fun to be around, and ambitious. If he requires that a woman have a perfect body and doesn’t care about any other aspect of her, this guy is definitely a loser.
  5. He brags about how much money he has. It’s great to be successful, but a truly passionate career guy will talk about how much he enjoys his work rather than how loaded he is. If his piles of dough are the best thing he has going on, you should pass and find someone who actually has character. Once all his money is spent, all you’ll be left with is a douchebag.
  6. He says he has kids, but doesn’t list spending time with them as one of his important hobbies. From his bio and pictures, you can see that he spends a lot of time at the gym and drinking with his bros, but nowhere does it mention loving his children or seeing them often. Any parent that’s worth a damn is proud of their kids and wants to spend as much time with them as possible. If they didn’t score higher on his priority list than wet t-shirt night at the bar, he’s both a deadbeat dad and a jerk, and you don’t want to be his next baby mama.
  7. He talks crap in his profile about all the “crazy, ugly, and fat chicks” he’s met online and vies for sympathy. In douchebag language, crazy is code for “wants a real commitment.” The disparaging remarks about appearance tell you that he only cares about looks and refuses to spend two minutes having a conversation with anyone who doesn’t resemble a Victoria’s Secret model. Steer clear of this one if you value yourself at all. He’ll try to destroy your self-esteem any way he can in an attempt to gaslight you into thinking you’re not good enough for him.
  8. He says he doesn’t want a “promiscuous woman,” but also states outright that he doesn’t want anything serious. As if it weren’t bad enough that he’s slut-shaming people he doesn’t even know, he’s being completely unrealistic. He wants a nice pure virginal woman who will have casual sex with him and only him but never require a commitment. What the actual hell?! Don’t even think about talking to that douchebag.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.