Genuine spirituality can be a profound and transformative aspect of life.
However, some people use spirituality as a facade, more for show than for genuine growth. Here are 17 red flags that may indicate someone’s spirituality is more performance than authentic practice.
1. They constantly broadcast their spiritual practices on social media.
While sharing spiritual experiences can be positive, excessive posting about every meditation session or ritual may indicate a need for external validation. Truly spiritual people often find their practice to be deeply personal and don’t feel the need to constantly showcase it for public approval.
2. They use spiritual jargon without understanding its meaning.
If someone frequently drops spiritual terms or concepts but can’t explain them when asked, it may suggest they’re more interested in appearing spiritual than understanding the depth of these ideas. Authentic spirituality involves a genuine desire to learn and understand, not just to impress people with vocabulary.
3. They judge people for not being “spiritual enough.”
Genuine spirituality often encourages compassion and understanding. If someone consistently criticizes people for their lack of spiritual practices or beliefs, it may indicate they’re more concerned with appearing superior than embodying spiritual values of acceptance and non-judgment.
4. They use spirituality to avoid real-world responsibilities.
While spirituality can provide guidance and comfort, using it as an excuse to avoid dealing with practical life issues or responsibilities is a red flag. Authentic spirituality often enhances one’s ability to engage with the world, not escape from it.
5. Their spiritual identity changes frequently based on trends.
If someone’s spiritual practices or beliefs seem to shift dramatically with every new trend, it may indicate a lack of genuine commitment. While exploration is natural, constantly jumping from one spiritual fad to another without depth suggests a performative approach rather than authentic growth.
6. They claim to be more evolved or enlightened than everyone else.
True spiritual growth often leads to humility, not superiority. If someone frequently boasts about their spiritual level or claims to be more evolved than other people, it’s a sign they may be using spirituality to boost their ego rather than transcend it.
7. They use spirituality to manipulate people.
Be wary of people who use spiritual concepts to control or manipulate people. This could involve guilt-tripping, claiming special spiritual authority, or using spiritual ideas to justify harmful behavior. Authentic spirituality respects other people’s autonomy and free will.
8. They’re inconsistent in their behavior.
If someone preaches love and compassion but treats people poorly in their daily life, it’s a clear sign of performative spirituality. Genuine spiritual practice tends to align one’s actions with their professed values consistently.
9. They’re overly concerned with appearances.
While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying spiritual aesthetics, an excessive focus on looking the part (through clothes, accessories, or curated spaces) at the expense of inner work is a red flag. Authentic spirituality is more about inner transformation than outer appearance.
10. They use spiritual bypassing to avoid dealing with emotions.
If someone consistently uses spiritual concepts to avoid dealing with difficult emotions or situations, it may indicate a superficial approach to spirituality. Genuine spiritual practice often involves facing and working through challenging emotions, not avoiding them.
11. They’re unwilling to question their beliefs.
Authentic spirituality often involves a willingness to question, doubt, and explore. If someone becomes defensive or dismissive when their spiritual beliefs are questioned or challenged, it may suggest their spirituality is more about maintaining an image than genuine growth.
12. They use their spirituality to feel superior to everyone.
If someone frequently compares their spiritual practice to anyone else’s or uses it as a basis for feeling better than other people, it’s a sign of ego-driven, performative spirituality. True spiritual growth often leads to a sense of connection with people, not separation or superiority.
13. They’re more focused on collecting experiences than integrating them.
While spiritual experiences can be profound, constantly looking for new ones without integrating the lessons learned is a red flag. Authentic spirituality involves applying insights to daily life, not just accumulating interesting experiences.
14. They use spirituality as a business without embodying its principles.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with spiritual businesses, but if someone’s spiritual teachings or products don’t align with how they live their life, it’s cause for concern. Authentic spiritual teachers tend to embody the principles they teach.
15. They lack empathy or compassion for those different from them.
True spirituality often enhances one’s capacity for empathy and compassion. If someone claims to be spiritual but shows a lack of understanding or care for those with different beliefs or backgrounds, it may indicate their spirituality is superficial.
16. They use spirituality to avoid accountability.
Be cautious of people who use spiritual concepts like “everything happens for a reason” to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or to dismiss other people’s pain. Authentic spirituality often increases one’s sense of responsibility and accountability.
17. They’re overly attached to their spiritual identity.
If someone becomes defensive or upset when their spiritual identity is not acknowledged or respected, it may indicate their spirituality is more about maintaining an image than personal growth. Genuine spirituality often leads to a loosening of attachment to identities, not a strengthening of them.
