I Refuse To Be With A Guy Who Doesn’t Get Along With My BFF

I Refuse To Be With A Guy Who Doesn’t Get Along With My BFF ©iStock/nd3000

Even if I find a man to spend the rest of my life with, what I have with him will still never compare to the perfect relationship I have with my best friend. My relationship with her is completely platonic, but at the same time, our love for each other is more amazing than any romantic relationship I’ve ever had. That’s why before you date me, you need to know exactly why not getting along with her is one of my biggest dealbreakers:

  1. She was there before you and she’ll be there after you. She’s been by my side through the best of times and the worst of times, and I know for a fact that if things with you don’t work out, she’s going to be the one to help me get back on my feet. She’s already proven her loyalty to me. Sorry, but if you two don’t get along, she’s not going to be the one I push away.
  2. If you don’t like her, there’s something wrong with you. My best friend is the human embodiment of perfection. She’s fun, kind, and what everyone should aspire to be like. If there’s something you don’t like about her, that sets off a lot of warning bells in my mind.
  3. She is a permanent fixture in my life. You wouldn’t ask me to chop off my arm, so why would you ask me to stop hanging out with my best friend? She’s not optional in any way. If you don’t like her, you’re just going to have to find a way to change your mind, because she’s going to be in my life regardless of your opinion.
  4. I need to be able to hang out with both of you at the same time. She’s not going to come along on all our dates, but there’s no way I’m going to be with someone who can’t even chill with my bestie and me at a casual weekend get-together. If you two don’t get along, the last thing I want to have to do is play mediator while you give each other dirty looks from across the room.
  5. I trust her judgment over anyone else’s. That means if she doesn’t like you, you probably don’t have much of a chance. I take everyone’s opinion with a grain of salt, but if she tells me that you rub her the wrong way, you can bet that it’s going to be a huge red flag.
  6. I love her more than I could ever love a man. Our friendship is completely platonic, but she’s like a sister to me. The bond we have is completely unbreakable, and I know that even if I eventually find The One, he’s going to have be cool with coming in second place to her. That means that no matter how much I like you, you’re going to be the one to go if you can’t get along with her.
  7. If you don’t get along with her, it’s only a matter of time before you don’t get along with me. To say that my bestie and I are like two peas in a pod would be a huge understatement. We have our differences, sure, but our personalities are so similar that if you don’t like her, you’re soon going to find a whole myriad of things you don’t like about me. By telling me that you aren’t crazy about my best friend, you’re effectively predicting the end of our own relationship.
  8. If she doesn’t like you, there’s a good reason for it. My bestie radiates love straight from her pores. She’s always trying to befriend everyone, and she’s the type of person who sees the good in everyone no matter how much they suck. So if she tells me that she doesn’t like you, I take it to heart. Being disliked by her is the ultimate form of dishonor, and you’d better believe I’ll be on high alert if she tells me she doesn’t think you’re right for me.
  9. I’d rather lose you than lose her. I would never date someone who made me choose between him and my best friend in the first place, but let’s nip this in the bud before it even comes up: if you make me choose, you will lose. I don’t care about how good the sex is or how many times you promise to love me forever. Her presence in my life is non-negotiable, and if you try to test me on that, you’ll get your proof instantly.
  10. She’s more of a soulmate than a boyfriend could ever be. She’s the person I run to when I feel both sad and happy. She makes bad days better and good days spectacular. She knows me better than I know myself, and she loves me just the way I am. There is no romantic relationship that could ever beat what I have with my best friend, so if you’re not crazy about her, you’re better off finding someone else.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.