I Refuse To Hold In My Poop Around Guys & You Should Too

I used to be afraid to poop around a guy. Then I realized how silly I was being. Sadly, it took a lot of discomfort to reach the point where I could flush (so to speak) my fears and embarrassment. Here’s why it’s cool to poop when a hot guy’s in the vicinity. 

  1. It’s not worth keeping in. Trust me on this: trying to hold in a poop isn’t fun, it’s painful AF. When I’ve kept in my poop, I felt sore, became gassy (which was really embarrassing), and moody. It’s like I was being weighed down by my waste. So gross. 
  2. Pooping is natural. Everyone poops! It’s a natural part of being healthy, plus it’s something I just can’t avoid doing for too long. When nature calls, I’ve got to go. I don’t want to be made to feel that pooping around a guy is weird or gross. It’s just my body doing what it has to do. No big deal.
  3. If he can’t deal, he’s the real piece of crap. I’m sorry, but if a guy had to get all weird or tease me about having to go poop, he’s a man-child and it’s actually a sign that I can do better in a partner.
  4. I don’t get freaked out by it. I honestly don’t get weird about other people’s poop. If a guy I’m dating has to go use the bathroom and I’m in the next room, it doesn’t bother me. It’s the same as if he were peeing or brushing his teeth. So why should guys get freaked out about women needing to poop? That would be a seriously disturbing double standard.
  5. I’m not perfect. When I used to avoid pooping around my BF, it wasn’t just about avoiding poop, it was about trying to be seen as perfect. As women, we go through a lot to try to look our best and be amazing. We don’t want poop ruining the day, just like we want guys to think we wake up looking fabulous and never experience morning breath. But that’s ridiculous. I’m not perfect—I have a body just like everyone else’s.  
  6. I always remind myself I’m not doing anything gross. If a fart escapes me while I’m on the toilet, I just think that at least I’m doing this in the bathroom where it’s supposed to be done. It’s not like I’m farting in front of a guy or pooping while he’s in the shower. That would be crossing a line. If pooping is done behind closed doors, I can still be a lady about it.
  7. It’s not the end of romance. It’s crazy and dramatic to think that pooping in the same house as my BF means that the romance is gone or we’re too comfortable with each other. Confession time: my BF saw me puke in a hospital room shortly after we started dating. Nothing can top that and he’s still here so it’s all good.
  8. Let all that embarrassing stuff out! Once, I spoke to a friend about how embarrassed I was for my BF to see me without makeup on and he said, “Let him see everything right from the start—poop in front of him, sweat in front of him, and show him what you look like first thing in the morning. It’s liberating!” He was right. It’s so much better to just be natural instead of letting unnecessary fears get in the way. It’s not worth the mental anguish.
  9. He’ll be wondering worse things if I never go. I used to think it was awkward to go to the bathroom and take long in there, fearing that my BF clearly knew I was doing a number two. But then I realized that if I never poop, it seems really weird. He’ll surely be wondering why I never need to use the bathroom and what’s wrong with me. Worse, he might think that I’m not comfortable around him.
  10. I’ve learned there are ways to prettify poop. I’m not always super cool about pooping. There have been times when I’m, er, noisier than usual or I’ve got some stomach trouble, so what I do is turn on a tap or shower. That masks the sound and makes me feel like I’ve got more privacy. And then of course there’s always tons of air freshener that makes everything smell good again.
  11. It’s not a relationship milestone. I once dated a guy for a short amount of time and I knew I wouldn’t be seeing him again. But I really, desperately had to poop in his house and couldn’t hold it in anymore. Eventually, I went to the bathroom and realized that pooping doesn’t have to be reserved for the guys I want to date seriously. It’s not this big act of intimacy—it’s just poop.
  12. This is not a female problem. Have you noticed how most, if not all, articles on the internet about pooping in front of one’s partner are targeted to women? It’s because we feel a huge amount of pressure to be as graceful and polite as possible, but you know what? Screw that. Men generally don’t worry about things like this or other crazy things women are made to feel stressed about, like if our private parts smell normal. We shouldn’t feel ashamed of our bodies and their normal, healthy processes. Enough is enough!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.