I Refuse To Be The Only One Fighting For Our Love

I Refuse To Be The Only One Fighting For Our Love ©iStock/RyanJLane

There’s nothing more emotionally exhausting than being in a one-sided relationship. I’ve been in these more than once, and I’m honestly still tired from putting in all that work and getting nothing in return. This often happens to women who love hard — it’s just in our nature to make sure our partners never doubt our devotion, question our feelings or wonder where we stand – but life just isn’t that long, and I refuse to be the only one bleeding my heart dry to keep a dying love alive.

  1. I don’t have that kind of time. Life is a precious, delicate thing, and it operates on a timer. I don’t want to waste even a moment being less happy than I could be. So if you’re not in this 100% like I am, then let’s just go our separate ways.
  2. You’ll only keep me if you really deserve me. I know my worth. I also know what I have to offer my perfect person – especially since I’ve been giving it all to you, thinking you’re him. I’m a catch, and if you don’t see that, someone else will.
  3. There’s too much wisdom in these eyes. The benefit of being on Earth for three decades is that I have seen some CRAP. So all those foolish mistakes I made when I was sweet teenager in love – like thinking I can “fix” someone who’s broken and treats me like garbage, or making excuses for a guy who’s just an a-hole – will not be made again. I know better.
  4. I know I’d be just fine alone. I may want you in my life, but don’t get it twisted – I don’t need you. With a proper collection of sex toys, an occasional hookup, and the wonderful company of friends, family, and a dog – I’ll be A-OK on my own. I’m sure of it.
  5. Games are so childish. Aren’t we adults? Shouldn’t we be above half-assing something as important as a serious relationship? I know I am. If you’re not going to fight for what we have, then why stay? You might be comfortable settling for life as you know it, but I demand more, I expect happiness and support and I will find it.
  6. I want you to be happy. There’s a reason I fell in love with you. It’s because you’re an amazing human being. So I don’t want to see you wasting your life in a relationship that isn’t exactly what you want. Just like there’s someone better for me out in the world, there’s also someone better for you, and I don’t want to get in her way.
  7. I love myself too much. Most women have spent a period of time hating themselves, and wishing they were different. I am no exception. But I’m past that phase, and I know now that I’m a goddess. As much as I might love you, and want to wait this out to see if you give me what I need, ultimately I love myself too much to wait around. If I’ve made my concerns clear, multiple times, and things still don’t improve, then I’m gone. I might be someone who loves hard, but I won’t love anyone more than I love myself.
is a freelance writer for Bustle and Petcha, and editor for Wise Bread. She suffers from separation anxiety, and can't bear to be away from her dog for more than 20 minutes. Her dog doesn't seem to care either way. Sweater season is her favorite season.