I Refuse To Be The One Who Does All The Work In A Relationship

I Refuse To Be The One Who Does All The Work In A Relationship ©iStock/lorenzoantonucci

You can’t rely on love alone to guarantee a successful relationship. You have to work hard to make things work, and that means both people should be putting in equal effort to keep things on track. If the guy I’m with isn’t on the same page and prepared to do whatever it takes to keep our relationship strong, I’ll walk away because I refuse to be the one who does all the work.

  1. We need to want the same things. Relationships are all about give and take. It’s not about keeping score, but it is about being on the same page about what we’re doing. I’m not about to exhaust myself by trying to keep things afloat all on my own, because that just tells me he doesn’t value the relationship as much as I do. If he doesn’t want to pitch in, he can GTFO.
  2. We’re supposed to be a team. My partner isn’t just someone I love, he’s supposed to be my teammate. Being in a relationship requires working together. Crap happens in life, and I need to be able to rely on my partner to have my back as we work through them.
  3. If he doesn’t care about our relationship, he doesn’t care about me. One major way of showing someone that you truly care about them is by showing some appreciation for everything they do for you — and that means working just as hard as they do. If he’s not willing to do that, then he doesn’t value me as much as I thought, so why should I bother?
  4. I didn’t get into a relationship to carry us both. We’re in this thing together — or at least we’re supposed to be. Why shouldn’t he take responsibility for us just like I do? Relationships are meant to lighten your load, not add to it. Screw that.
  5. It becomes too much for one person to handle. Carrying all the weight of a relationship is physically and emotionally draining, and eventually it becomes too much. Working together lightens the load, and if he cares about me, he should want to alleviate the weight on my shoulders.
  6. I’ll resent him if it all comes down to me. By making me do all the work, I’ll slowly end up resenting him and even possibly hating him for it. One of the major reasons relationships don’t work is because one person feels as though the other doesn’t appreciate them. After all, why would I want to be with someone that I do everything for but receive nothing in return?
  7. He’ll end up losing me. After a certain point, I can guarantee that I’ll walk away from a guy if he doesn’t step up his game. Life is already hard enough, and the last thing I need is a relationship that isn’t working.
Lindsey is a Digital Advertising Professional and Freelance Writer based in New York City. In her spare time, she enjoys running, traveling, and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee. Follow her on Twitter @lindseyruns