I Refuse To Tone Down My Personality For A Guy—If He Doesn’t Like It, Bye!

Having a guy tell me I need to tone down my personality to make him comfortable is the ultimate turn-off. I already know that everything I say and do won’t be endearing but that doesn’t make it wrong. Everyone has quirks about their personality but if he wants me to take away pieces of who I am, I’ll show him the door.

  1. I DON’T NEED HIS PERMISSION TO BE MYSELF. I’ve lived over two decades as myself without you, so why does he think he has so much say in how I express my personality? The world doesn’t revolve around him and there are plenty of other people who love me for who I naturally am. If he doesn’t like the way I talk, laugh or think, I don’t need him. I’m in control of my own life and I won’t be changing myself because a guy isn’t comfortable with it.
  2. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS. When we’re hanging out with our friends or out on the town, I want to relax and enjoy myself, not worry about if I’m being too much. No one deserves to have their every move judged and we should all be able to let loose and be ourselves, especially come Friday night. I don’t want the burden of trying to please him on my back. I deserve better for myself.
  3. IF HE DOESN’T LIKE ALL OF ME, WHY IS HE HERE? Here’s the big question—if he isn’t in love with the person that I am, why is he with me? Physical attraction only goes so far before he has to fall in love with the inner me, and if he can’t do that, then we’re wasting our time. The only option is to love all of me for who I am, or walk—it really doesn’t have to be complicated.
  4. I’M PROUD OF THE PERSON I AM. It took years of being bullied for me to come out on the other side, loving myself. The reason I refuse to bend to a guy’s opinion of me is because I’ve already made my mind up about myself—I’m worthy and I’m enough. Instead of trying to change me, he should appreciate everything I went through to become this person. So what if I laugh a little too loud or come off a little overwhelming sometimes? I’m not going to apologize.
  5. HE’S PROBABLY INSECURE IF HE CAN’T LET ME BE ME. If he’s really worried about the way I act, I’m assuming he’s just insecure. It’s not like I’m a huge flirt or party ’til the break of dawn with guys he doesn’t know. I’ve proven that I’m trustworthy and loyal, but he still acts like he’s insecure. I need a man who’s confident enough to stand next to me with full assurance that I’m “The One.” If he’s too insecure for that role, he’ll have to work it out on his own.
  6. MY VOICE IS IMPORTANT TOO. Everyone deserves to be heard and that includes me. I love to be in the mix of conversation and I don’t mind if I end up the center of attention. I don’t know why he feels threatened by my presence in a conversation or my opinion in a debate. He’ll never find me without something to say, and that’s okay with me.
  7. I DON’T NEED TO CHANGE MYSELF TO BE LOVED. Here’s the truth: whether or not a guy decides to love me, there are countless others in my life who already do and they accept me for the person I am. They don’t just tolerate my personality, they love it and the presence I bring to a room. That in itself is enough evidence for me to know there are guys out there who will love me the way I am too. I don’t have to settle for someone who only loves half of me.
  8. I’M AN AUTHENTIC PERSON. If he’s telling me to hold back parts of myself, he’s asking me to be un-authentic. I speak my own truth and embrace every misstep and every embarrassing moment. No one lives a perfect life, so why would I try to cover up my mistakes or hide myself from people who don’t like all my qualities? I tell my life story through my actions every day and I refuse to tone myself down to paint a different picture of the person I am.
  9. I’M NOT A WALL FLOWER AND I WON’T PRETEND I AM. Everyone knows that I’m not the type to sit back and blend in. I’ve always had a strong presence in a crowd and have never lacked the confidence to be in the center of attention. A guy trying to tell me to sit back down and be quiet won’t change the fact that I’m not that girl. In fact, I’ll look like a fool because everyone already knows that’s not me.
  10. THERE ARE PLENTY OF GIRLS WITH THE PERSONALITY HE WANTS. I don’t mean to be cliche, but there really are plenty of fish in the sea. If he isn’t satisfied with the personality I have, there are literally thousands of girls who have the qualities he’s looking for. Instead of wasting his time trying to make me into that girl, why not move on to someone who naturally is that girl? If I’m not his dream girl then he should let me go and live my life because I love the person I am.
Rodeo Athlete. Wife To A Cowboy. Fashionista. Taco Enthusiast.

I love old things and new places. I wear turquoise jewelry and a Midwest attitude. I can usually be found writing on rodeo fashion in Texas or making margaritas in my kitchen.