Remember when Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory set up a relationship agreement with his girlfriend? It was pretty crazy, but it got me thinking: maybe a relationship agreement that’s realistic and beneficial to both partners could actually be a good thing in real life. Here’s why.
You get what you really want.
You can’t expect your partner to be psychic, so why not spell out what you really want? For example, if you really want chivalry, you can set out in black and white why it’s important to you and why you expect it from your partner. By explaining what you want, you’re more likely to get it because your partner is also more likely to understand where you’re coming from.
You figure out what’s important.
You should be open about your values and priorities. This helps you both become aware of each other’s standards and respect them. If your partner violates your standards, the evidence is there in black and white so they can’t really argue with you or weasel their way out of the situation.
You get what you need in various situations.
Your needs will change during your relationship, but it helps to be clear about what you need during different situations. For example, when you complain about a fight you had with your bestie, you don’t necessarily want your partner to tell you how to fix the situation. By being clear about what you need in that situation, such as a partner who really listens to you, you won’t have to push your needs aside or keep getting with people who just don’t understand you.
You set out texting rules.
How often do you want your partner to stay in touch with you? Is it every day, every two days, or are you cool with a conversation every week? If you and your partner can share what texting rules you like to follow, it can make communication much less stressful. You won’t have to sit there wondering why they haven’t been in touch for two days because you know what’s up.
You can weed out the losers.
If you can be real about your relationship expectations from early on in a relationship and agree on them with your partner, it can make things so much easier. It will also clearly show you when someone won’t rise to meet your expectations, which means you can move on instead of wasting your time.
You share the same relationship goals.
Have you ever wondered what someone really wants from you but you didn’t want to ask? It’s so frustrating! Imagine if you could just specify in a relationship agreement what you’re both looking for, such as a fling, relationship, open relationship, or long-term relationship. It would be so great to know that he’s on the same page as you right from the beginning.
You make dates less stressful.
It’s good to lay down the law on spontaneous versus planned dates. Which one do you like and what do you really not want? For instance, if you hate it when a guy calls you up and wants to meet in half an hour, let them know. So annoying! By knowing just how spontaneous or how much of a planner you both are, this can make your interactions so much more rewarding.
You avoid pet hates.
Your relationship agreement would have to specify things you really don’t like and don’t want to have to deal with so that you know your partner won’t cross the line. For example, if you hate d**k pics with a passion or never want to allow phones to be used during dates, make it known and stick to it.
You get enough sex.
You might have similar sex drives and needs, but these will never match completely. A relationship agreement would be great to specify just how much sex you should be having. It’s sort of like maintenance sex, which sounds boring but actually isn’t such a bad way to stay connected. Setting out a sex schedule is also a good idea if you feel like you’ll go crazy without enough of it! You know you won’t have to wait for it.
You cruise through commitment.
Ah, the big commitment question! It presents itself really early on in a relationship, such as when you’re wondering if your partner has left Tinder yet. Ugh. If you set out from the start when you think casual dating should become committed dating, everyone will be happier.
You make your relationship status clear.
You might be hanging out, but are you really dating? Ugh, it’s so annoying to have to deal with this! You should both agree to be clear about when you’re actually dating so that there are no misunderstandings or disappointments. Is that so much to ask?
You remember date night.
When you end up in a long-term relationship or you’re living together, you might not really stick to date nights but you should! If you need a relationship agreement to remind you, then by all means, it’s a good idea. You shouldn’t forget to connect with your partner or take them for granted. Regular date nights are great to make you feel the fun of your early relationship days while strengthening your bond as a couple.
You go solo sometimes.
While you’re setting some dates for date night with your partner, every relationship agreement should also specify times when you can take yourself out on a date! Call it “me time” or those precious few hours every week when you engage in your hobbies. Either way, it’s essential to keep you happy and focused on your own life, which will also make you a more kick-ass partner.
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