Everyone loses themselves in a relationship at some point, but when you alienate almost everyone else in your life and gradually become another version of your partner, that’s when it gets to be too much. With any luck, you can identify the signs you’re a relationship chameleon before you’re too deep in the trenches, because for some, there’s no going back.
You take on all your partner’s interests. Before this relationship, you had literally never been to a baseball game but now, you’re planning weekends away with your new boyfriend or girlfriend so you can see their favorite team play. And, coincidentally, their favorite team is now your favorite team. Go figure, right?
You change your routine to be with them more. Wanting to improve your body is all well and good and wanting to be healthy for yourself is legit, but if it’s because you’re now dating the body-building gym rat, that’s a problem. You really don’t need to be with them every hour of every day, so embrace that space.
Your Political Views Have Shifted. Were you super liberal before your new boyfriend showed you the supposed error of your ways? Or did your new girlfriend suddenly get you turned on to the world of being an independent? Either way, a relationship should seriously never determine your political affiliation.
Your Views On Other Big Issues Are Different Now Too. You should never sacrifice your morals or values because of what your significant other thinks. Please, do your brain a favor and stick to your guns. People appreciate it when their partner has conviction, so don’t worry about getting dumped just because you disagree with your partner.
Your Personality Has Changed To Mirror Your New Partner’s. Adapting to someone else’s sense of humor or good habits is one thing, but if you’ve become a shadow of your former self because you’ve subconsciously adopted your partner’s personality, that’s just not cute.
You’ve Found A New Love In Music That Never Interested You Before. Again, if you legitimately found a new interest in rap music because of your new boyfriend or girlfriend, then so be it. But for the love of everything good and holy about healthy relationships, don’t forgo your own musical interests for theirs. There’s no reason for you to spend a ton of money on concerts you have no interest in going to just for the sake of keeping up an act.
You’ve Become Someone You Used To Make Fun Of. Remember those coffee shop hipsters who wear beanies in the summertime that you used to laugh at in your head and with your friends? Yeah, that’s you now. It’s one thing to go through personality or fashion changes, but it’s another to go through them because you think your partner will like you more for it.
You Can’t Remember The Last Time You Saw Your Own Friends. It’s totally important to make nice with your significant other’s friends, but they should be doing the same for yours. And serious bonus points if you can somehow blend the groups so that you get your friend time in while seeing your boyfriend or girlfriend. Neither of you should be abandoning your friends just so you can spend more time together.
You Find Yourself “Keeping Sweet” Too Often. If your partner is doing something annoying or rude, don’t go along with it. Keeping quiet in a relationship can only last so long before you blow up from holding it all in, and at that point, it’s never going to be pretty. Stand up for yourself if something’s wrong.
You Ignore Literally Every Red Flag In Your Mind. If they aren’t the person for you, that’s okay. If everything is telling you to turn around and run for the hills, then your instincts are probably right. Ignoring that is going to get you deeper and deeper into a relationship that probably isn’t best for you.