Even the best relationships can take a turn for the worse. Things can be perfect one day and the next day, BAM, it’s like you don’t even recognize the person you fell in love with anymore. Even if you still love each other, take these red flags seriously, as they’re telltale signs that your relationship has an expiration date.
- You have different family plans. No one should have to compromise on whether or not they have children. If you feel strongly one way and your partner feels differently, chances are you will eventually break up to be with someone who has a similar plan.
- You fundamentally disagree on childcare duties. If you both want children, having major disagreements on how you intend to divvy up the child rearing responsibilities is a huge sign of trouble ahead. If he expects you to stay at home with the children when you want to go back to work, or work when you want to be home with the kids, then there’s no way you can end up being a happy family together.
- Sex has become a chore. If you’re not into each other like that anymore, your relationship definitely has an expiration date. When the initial excitement wears off, it may turn out that your love for each other was just lust, and you don’t actually have any real chemistry or connection. You should be even more concerned if you’ve started getting it elsewhere.
- You want to live in different places. If you have your heart set on New York but your boyfriend thinks his hometown is the only acceptable place to live, it’s time to break up and move on. Similarly, do you have a plan for if one of you is offered a job or advanced degree program placement in a random city? Will one of you move for the other? If the answer is no, your relationship is just running out the clock in the meantime.
- You have different expectations of monogamy. Contrary to popular belief, being 100% monogamous to each other is not necessarily required to have a healthy, happy relationship. Many people enjoy experiencing other people or bringing a third person into the bedroom. What is required, however, is that both people have the same expectations of the relationship so no one is feeling stifled or betrayed. You won’t be able to change your partners mind on this one, so disagreeing about monogamy is a surefire sign that your relationship is doomed.
- You’ve started to resent each other. If you’ve reached this point, you’ve probably already over compromised and tried to force the relationship to work for too long. Resentment is nearly impossible to bounce back from, as it tends to build up until someone explodes. Break it off now and move on to something that will last.