I’ve had many unlucky draws in love, to the point that I started to think I would be single forever. However, I wasn’t ready to give up. I decided to make a relationship handbook, rules to live by when it comes to dating, by writing down what I really want in a guy. Doing this has saved my dating life.
I wrote down literally everything.
I left no stone unturned—from a guy who likes to cook to ones who want children. I filled two whole notebook pages full of what I want from my potential future partner. It made me realize what qualities are important to me when it comes to a long-lasting relationship.
I made a set of relationship rules.
I don’t want to settle for anything less than what I’m worth and what I deserve. There are things in a relationship that I want, and writing them out made me see the importance that these specific things mean to me. It also helped me to confidently accept my desires in a partnership and honor those needs.
I know what to look for in a guy.
Writing everything down made it so much easier to spot what I was looking for in a partner. Even on a first date, I could see if there could be a potential future with this person. Did he meet my checklist of what I want and deserve in a relationship? If not, no second date and time to move on.
I realize my self-worth.
In the past, I found myself settling for someone that didn’t treat me that well or that I didn’t have much chemistry with. I’d settle for these people because I was afraid there was no one else out there. Making my dating handbook made me realize that I’m above settling. In fact, I won’t be happy until I find someone who values me as much as I value myself.
I’m building the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship.
It’s hard to keep a relationship afloat—it takes work. Knowing just what I want in a relationship and taking the time to find it means I’m putting in the work even before the relationship begins. I want to find someone who’s as sure as I am about what makes a good relationship because if we’re not on the same page, it will never work.
I’m not wasting my time or anyone else’s.
I’ve gone on several dates with guys just hoping there might be a connection even though right off the bat I knew it wasn’t going to work. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time when it comes to dating anymore. We’re all looking for love, but if you know what you want and someone doesn’t have it, what’s the point? I just need to move on and give everyone a chance at finding who they’re meant to be with.
I’m accepting my baggage.
We’ve all got it, but that doesn’t mean we have to let it define who we are. One of my most important relationship rules is finding someone who will never judge me for my baggage. I want to have a relationship where we don’t use our pasts against each other but rather come from a place of compassion and acceptance when it comes to what we’ve experienced in our lives.
I’ve redefined what love means to me.
I used to go on date after date after date and at some point, I forgot what I was doing it all for. Yes, I want love, but why? I don’t just want someone who will just be there, I want someone who will love, support, and inspire me and I want to offer the same in return. Remembering that helped me to have a better idea of just what I was looking for.
I’ve stopped comparing myself to other couples.
I used to look at other couples on social media or on the street and wish I had what they had. The truth was that I didn’t even know what they had, they just looked happy in a photo I scrolled by or looked at each other lovingly at a restaurant. So instead of comparing myself to the lives of strangers, these days I strive to find what it was that I thought truly made these couples happy and search for those qualities in my own search for love.
I believe he’s out there.
Nothing is impossible and we’re all worthy of finding our soulmates. I know what I want and I won’t settle until I find it. I know he’s out there and I just have to keep believing in that. Sometimes a smile comes over me when I think of my future partner out there somewhere possibly dreaming me up in his relationship handbook too. He’s out there and I’m going to find him.
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