If you’ve been dating for awhile now, you’ve likely had relationships with some great people and some incredibly manipulative people, and all of them taught you some important things. The honest truth is that you needed those experiences to survive the dating world because they taught you these 10 valuable lessons.
- Respect Goes A Long Way. The key to a successful relationship is respect. Without respect, there can be no love because love isn’t just a feeling. It’s working hard to put your partner first even when it’s difficult. You can’t make each other a priority without respect, so do your best to trust your partner and work to gain theirs in return. Be reliable, accountable, and appreciate your differences.
- Don’t Close Yourself Off. There’s nothing wrong with having a type. After all, you have goals and you need someone who’ll help you achieve them, but that doesn’t mean you should close yourself off because they don’t check off every box. If you do that, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out. Be open-minded and don’t call it quits after one bad date. Let people show you who they are.
- You’re Exactly Who You Should Be. There’s always room for improvement, but for the most part, you’re exactly who you should be and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your personality is just right, your body is just right, everything about you is just right. To survive the dating world, you need to know you’re more than enough. Spend every day improving the relationship you have with yourself so you can date confidently.
- There’s No Point In Worrying. You can’t manipulate the present to get the future you want. No matter how much you want to control what’s happening right now, it’s not a good idea. It’ll force you to miss out on the present and might ruin your relationship. You can’t control other people, not even your significant other, so stop trying unless you want to be disappointed.
- None Of Your Relationships Were Mistakes. You’ve dated some pretty horrible people, and you’ve experienced some pretty crappy breakups. None of those were mistakes, so don’t dismiss them. Hold onto the experiences and lessons you learned from your past relationships (yes, even the relationships with those cheating assholes). If you try to forget, you won’t learn.
- Don’t Ignore Red Flags. How many red flags have you ignored throughout your life? Whether it was on a date, an apartment tour, or a job interview, we’ve all ignored things that were right in front of us. Don’t do that! If he’s constantly showing up late or ditching you last-minute, he doesn’t deserve your loyalty or interest. Those are huge red flags and they should never be brushed to the side.
- Watch How You Talk. Your words are powerful and they can cut someone up in an instant. It’s important that you remember that. You might not realize how much people pay attention to what you say, but they do, especially your significant other. Watch the way you talk to your partner and watch how they respond to certain words. We all have different triggers and you need to learn what triggers your partner so you can avoid upsetting them.
- Your Emotions Are Valid. Don’t let anyone take away your voice or make you feel crazy for feeling a certain way. Everything you feel is valid, so let yourself feel it. Tell your partner when you’re upset, sad, and angry. Even when your emotions seem out of place, don’t be afraid to share them. The right person will NEVER judge you for your emotions. Even if they don’t exactly understand, they’ll do their best to try.
- It’s Okay To Walk Away. You never have to stay in a relationship with someone. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or how many kids you have. If the relationship doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to walk away — yes, even if everyone’s telling you to stay. It’s important for you to know you’re never stuck. There’s always a way out and people who can help you re-build.
- Don’t Hold Anything Back. Every Bachelor and Bachelorette starts the show by asking for vulnerability, and while you shouldn’t believe everything you hear (or see) on that show, there’s something to be said about being open. To survive the dating world, you need to be honest with yourself and your future partner. You can’t lie or omit information. We know you want to protect yourself, but the more you hold back the less likely you are to find someone who loves you for you.
