Is He Relationship Material Or Just A Rebound?

After a breakup, you’re in no place to make decisions about your next relationship. Before you jump the gun on something new, you need to figure out if he’s actually someone you can see yourself with or just a rebound. Here’s how to tell if he’s the real deal or you’re being blinded by heartbreak:

  1. He makes you forget about your ex. If you’ve really moved on and you’re happy with someone new, then you won’t be secretly pining for your ex. You’re no longer imagining various scenarios where you’re reunited with your former flame. Your new guy is all you need, because this rebound didn’t make you bounce back to the ex.
  2. He gives you butterflies. Does this new man excite you? If just a text flutters your stomach, then the feelings are real. If he’s simply distracting you, then all you feel when you’re with him is relief. But if this is the real deal, every time he calls, your heart just might skip a beat.
  3. He’s an escape from single life. A rebound is someone you spend time with to fill the space of being alone. It’s a distraction from your heartbreak, because for even just a few minutes, you’d do anything to not have to think about your ex. If the second you leave him (or maybe even while you’re still with him), the memories of your former relationship come flooding in, then he has rebound written all over him.
  4. You’re not imaging your ex in bed. When you’re with this other man, are you wishing you were hooking up with your ex instead? Are you comparing every touch to ones you got from the man who came before him? If you can’t love the one you’re with, then you’re merely using fantasy to fill the void the breakup left you.
  5. You’re only happy when you’re with him. You may not be thinking about your breakup when you’re together, but what about when you’re not? He can’t be your constant distraction. If your love is real, then your happiness will remain even when you’re not together, because you’re heartbreak is history.
  6. There’s no passion. Blunt question: how’s the sex? If you’re comparing it to your ex, that’s a dead giveaway that he’s nothing more than a rebound. Now think about the passion. Is everything just physical, or are emotions tangled up between the sheets? If the sex is just sex, then your new guy is just a rebound.
  7. You talk to him about your ex. Talking about your ex-boyfriend to your new one is just plain disrespectful. If you’re openly mourning the death of you’re past relationship, then you don’t really care about his feelings. You’re using him as your own personal therapist. A rebound is just a drug that temporarily makes you forget the past, while a real relationship keeps you grounded in the present.
  8. You want more. If you want more than just a casual fling with this person, then your feelings for him are most likely genuine. From your own personal point of view do you consider the relationship serious? If you’re not serious about him, then the relationship isn’t real and his status as a rebound is clearer than ever before.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.