Is Your Relationship Moving Too Fast? 11 Signs You Need To Pull Back & Slow Down

You meet a great guy and immediately hit it off. The chemistry is insane and BAM — before you know it, you’re in a full-on serious relationship. Is this just the natural progression of things for a connection as strong as you’re sure yours is, or are you moving way too fast? Here are 11 signs it’s the latter and you need to slow down:

  1. When you say, “I love you” you’re not sure you mean it. You’re definitely in like, but is it really love? How could you possibly know already? Sometimes you’re so excited about the honeymoon stage of a new relationship that you jump the gun on those three little words. You’re saying them, yeah, but you haven’t even known each other long enough to mean it. That’s a surefire sign you need to slow down ASAP.
  2. Your friends and family are worried about you. You met a great new guy and they’re happy for you, but when they start to feel like they’re losing you, that’s when they worry. You should never give up your relationship with your friends and family for a partner, but it’s not just that. These are the people who know you best, the ones who are looking out for you, so if they’re worried, then maybe you should be worried too.
  3. There’s more you don’t know about your partner than things you do. What was his childhood like? What does he want for his future? You should know more about him than what he does for a living and what he orders on dates. It’s not just about the big stuff, though — it’s the little things that make a person who they are and determine whether or not you’re actually compatible. Before you continue speeding down this path, take some time to really get to know each other.
  4. Your relationship has become your whole life. The honeymoon stage is one thing, but retreating into your relationship for good can be a sign that you’re not confident in your love for each other. You’re worried it’s not right, so instead of giving each other the space to figure that out, you hold on for dear life. In the end, your relationship will die of suffocation, and all because you moved too fast.
  5. You don’t know why you’re together. Just think about it for a second. Sure, you have chemistry, but how in the hell did you get where you are so quickly? Why do you love HIM? It’s really not that hard of a question. What makes this man different from all the rest? If you’re in love with each other then you should be able to tell each other (or even yourself) why. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time.
  6. Within weeks, you’ve already met the parents. If you’re introducing someone to your friends and family, he’s obviously more than a fling. The important people in your life only need to meet someone you’re actually serious about. If you’re getting to know everyone in each other’s lives before you barely know each other, even if you think it’s going well, it’s way too soon. Slow down and make sure you actually really like this guy before it’s too late.
  7. You’re planning your future when you’ve barely had a present. Have you taken more steps in your relationship than there are months you’ve been together? Falling in love takes time. You can’t just make plans with every guy you date. If you want him to be there for life’s big moments then he first needs to be there for your relationship’s little moments. Love, marriage, and your whole future shouldn’t be taken lightly.
  8. You’re together 24/7. Every free minute you have is spent together, but it’s not just how much you see each other — it’s how you act when you’re apart. You’re practically glued to your phones, calling and texting each other so you don’t waste a minute. You’ve forgotten how to be present in the rest of your life because now that you have him, work, friends, and every other aspect of your life just doesn’t seem that important.
  9. You’re all over social media. Your relationship is constantly making social media headlines. Everything you do is posted anywhere you can. Everyone knows you’re dating because you don’t just share, you brag. It’s not just about the fact that you’re annoying all your social media friends with your oversharing, it’s the fact that you’ve made your relationship into a publicity show. You’ve gone completely public when you’ve barely had a chance to be private. You’re moving too fast online and off.
  10. Your last serious relationship wasn’t that long ago. You jump from one intense relationship to another. Moving too fast in relationships might be a pattern in your life, and maybe that’s because you’re not comfortable being single since you don’t know how to be alone. Every relationship shouldn’t just be a rebound of the last. If you really want a lasting relationship then you need to heal your heart first instead of rushing into the arms of someone new. After all, there’s nothing wrong with taking things slow.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.