Does Your Relationship Revolve Around Sex? Here’s How You Can Tell

Obviously, sex is a huge part of any relationship but it shouldn’t be the only thing keeping you together. There’s no minimum amount you should be having but there’s no such thing as having too much either. So how do you know if your relationship revolves around what happens in the bedroom and nothing else? Watch out for these signs.

  1. Every conversation is about sex. Communicating your sexual needs to your partner is a great way to strengthen your relationship, but if sex is the only thing you seem to talk about, it’s probably because you’re too dependent on sex. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially if it’s a new relationship and you both want to try new things in the bedroom, but you should try and steer the conversation somewhere else to determine whether your connection is more than sexual.
  2. Texting always leads to sexting. You can’t text each other without it turning into a sexual discussion. It’s always on your mind so naturally, it’s the only thing you ever talk about. When it comes to talking about plans and events, it’s so boring. You’d rather cut to the chase and talk about what you want to do in the bedroom.
  3. You can’t remember the last time you went on a date. Most of the time, a date involves going to his bedroom instead of going out for a meal. It’s fun and you both enjoy it but you’re starting to feel like that’s all there is to your relationship. An easy way to tell if he’s only in it for the sex is to suggest going out for the day. If he rejects it or comes up with an excuse, then you’ve got your answer.
  4. You cancel plans if it means having sex. You get really excited for a night out with your friends but as soon as you get a suggestive text from your boyfriend you drop all plans and go over to his house. If it’s starting to feel like your life and your relationship revolves around sex, it’s because it probably does.
  5. You don’t talk about anything important. On the surface, everything is great. You have a lot of sex so you’re both clearly satisfied, right? But what you really need is an emotional connection. If you’re not opening up to each other then you can’t grow as a couple. You’ll just be stuck in a cycle and after a while, you’ll get bored of the relationship.
  6. There’s no cuddling after sex. An obvious sign that your relationship is only physical is if he immediately leaves the bedroom after sex or tells you to get dressed. Often, the most intimate moments come after having sex, when you lie there cuddling or talking about the future. If he wants to avoid that completely then that gives you a clue about how he feels towards you.
  7. You’re not afraid of PDA. There’s nothing wrong with showing your partner affection in public but if you’re all over each other everytime you leave the house then that’s a sign that your relationship is solely physical and you might need to rethink if that’s what you want.
  8. You’re only happy in the bedroom. When you’re in bed together, everything feels great. You feel a connection to your partner that you wouldn’t usually feel if you were anywhere else. As soon as you step out of the bedroom, everything comes crashing down. If the only time your relationship is good is when you’re having sex then it probably means that you’re not compatible.
  9. Makeup sex is a regular thing. Sure, having sex after an argument can be hot and passionate, but it’s not going to fix what’s wrong with your relationship. You might think that it’s the answer to all of your problems, especially if you feel happiest when having sex, but it’s just masking the issue instead of finding a way to deal with it. Sometimes, sex is the answer. Other times, talking is the only way you can figure stuff out.
  10. You only see each other at night. If the only time you see each other is late at night, then it’s pretty obvious that your relationship revolves around sex. If you’re both on board with that then there’s no problem, but if you’re secretly hoping for more then you should probably end things now before you end up disappointed.
  11. You feel like the relationship is lacking. At first, you were happy with the relationship because it was new and exciting and you didn’t think about things beyond the bedroom. And now you feel like you want to progress in the relationship but you don’t know how to. It feels like you’ve got stuck in a routine that you can’t get out of. What if what you have with your partner isn’t more than sex? An easy way to find out is to spend more time with him outside of the bedroom and see if there’s more than a physical connection. If the conversation keeps leading to sex, then you know that the relationship isn’t going anywhere.
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships.

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