There are those who could use some help in the dating and relationship department, and others who proclaim to have the answers. Friends, family, dating books, and rom-coms all have their opinions and “rules” we should abide by to find love — and keep it. Some have their merit, and others just really don’t. No two relationships are the same, after all, and intuition should overrule your aunt’s advice any day.
Here are eight dating rules you should throw out the window if they’re just not working for you.
- Not having sex on the first date. It’s totally OK to wait if you want and that’s what’s right for you, and it’s also fine to go ahead and sleep together if that’s what you prefer. If the relationship is meant to be, no guy is going to lose interest because you gave it up sooner rather than later.
- Getting back with an ex. This is generally considered a no-no because you broke up for a reason, after all. But sometimes those reasons are circumstantial and have nothing to do with how compatible you are. Only you can know the difference between something real and something really addictive.
- He has to be your best friend. If you find your best friend in a lover, that’s awesome, but he doesn’t have to out-bestie your current BFF, because she might be irreplaceable. He can offer a different type of friendship that’s just as deep and important in its own way.
- Wait for him to contact you after a date. Yeah, it’s nice to be pursued, and we do want men who know what they want, but you’re not going to scare off the right guy by sending a “thanks for dinner, had a great time!” text. Just don’t keep texting him if he doesn’t respond.
- Dumping him if he cheats. This one is tricky, because everyone deserves to be respected and cheating is never respectful. However, sometimes people truly make mistakes, and sometimes it happens when a relationship is drifting and can actually lead to a restoration of what you once had. You’re the only one who has to live with your decisions, so go with what feels right.
- Telling him everything. Honesty is obviously important in relationships, but not to the extent that you’re bringing up bummer stuff for no reason. Some things are better left for conversations with the girlfriends, and other heat of the moment irritations are sometimes better left unsaid altogether.
- Playing hard to get. Look, people love a chase, but most of those chases are the catch and release variety. Play it too cool and the dude won’t even know that you’re interested at all, and then you’ll wonder why he stopped calling after you turned him down three times in a row.
- Sticking with a relationship to give it time to grow. Some people and relationships need time to blossom, sure, but you also shouldn’t waste your time and energy on guy who’s great on paper but doesn’t light your fire, just in case he’s the last option out there. Spoiler alert: he isn’t.