I’ve been in relationships in which I spent pretty much 24/7 with the guy and believe me, they were seriously problematic. This is why my boyfriend and I only see and speak to each other on the weekend and it’s the best arrangement ever.
We make the most of the time we have.
When you have a limited amount of time to spend with someone, you’re a lot more intentional about the things you say and do. It’s this kind of focused attention that has allowed us to have meaningful conversations and made us closer than we have ever been. My boyfriend and I don’t spend hours on the phone whispering sweet nothings. We save everything we want to say for the weekend, and I can tell you that it means a whole lot more.
We don’t get bored with each other.
I don’t believe that my boyfriend is the person that should give me everything. I know that people who go down this road of wanting their significant other to be their complete source of joy and happiness often end up bored. Why? Because they deprive themselves of different rich experiences. My boyfriend and I see each other on the weekend and that’s just about enough for us. Any more and we’d be trying to fill in space with a lot of nothing. In my experience, boredom is one of the major contributing factors to relationships ending. I want every experience with my boyfriend to be rich and full of fun so I just cut out the boring stuff.
Spending time with other people helps us grow.
So many people get into relationships and cut off their other friendships and relationships with family. That’s a pretty bad idea because different types of people challenge us differently. All the time I spend with other people that aren’t my boyfriend teaches me things that I can then bring into my relationship to make it successful.
We fight less.
Again, this is as a result of simply spending less time together. Ask any couple but moved in together, and you inadvertently hear that the fighting goes up. Now people say that’s just a matter of adjustment, but the fact is that when human beings are always in each other’s space, conflict is bound to happen. I’m happy to report that my boyfriend and I never fight. There’s just no reason to, and I like it that way.
We prioritize our careers and goals.
When your relationship is your number one priority, it tends to overshadow everything else. My boyfriend and I have both agreed that while we are essential to each other, we’re not the sole priority in one another’s lives. Don’t get me wrong. The time we make for each other is practically sacred, but we acknowledge that different things make us happy too. My boyfriend understands that he comes second to my career, and we’ve never been happier.
We miss each other.
Not a lot of couples can say that. I’m always so excited on a Friday night knowing that I’m going to see my boyfriend the next day. That type of anticipation helps me think about what it is that I love so much about him. If you’re always on top of each other, you don’t get this experience.
We aren’t codependent.
The problem with spending a lot of time together is that you start to lose your sense of self. I hate it when I hear my friends answer each question with something like “I’ll have to check in with my boyfriend first.” I’m not against people being considerate and wanting to involve their loved ones, but it’s a bit too much for you to be unable to do something without your partner there.
We give each other our best because we don’t drain each other.
Stay with me here. Relationships are a lot of work; they involve a lot of compromise, sacrifice, and empathy. It takes a lot of energy to give someone your all and make them happy. My boyfriend and I limit that amount of effort to the weekend and it works. We come to each other with a lot of patience, energy, and compassion. If we try to give the same effort every day of the week, it wouldn’t be the same. We would drop the ball at some point.
We don’t feel pressure to be something we’re not.
The fact that our relationship is so unconventional frees us from a lot of the pressures that a lot of couples face. My boyfriend and I have talked about the future and decided that moving in together is not for us. We do want to get married, which confuses a lot of people, but that’s OK. I guess what I’ve learned is that each relationship should be unique and everyone should focus on what works for them without caring about what other people think.
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