It’s easy to have a seemingly happy relationship with just about any guy you pick up… so long as you never actually talk to him. If you want a relationship that’s real and loving, though, there are some things you need to know. Raising these uncomfortable topics might be awkward AF but it’s pretty important if you want to go the distance:
Your past relationships and sex life.
Sure, your latest guy doesn’t need to know every single person you’ve ever slept with (and he shouldn’t). It’s not like you have to reel off a list of your conquests; that would be a long chat and, frankly, a little odd. Still, giving him a clue of how experienced or, indeed, inexperienced you will help him out a whole lot. What’s more, you’ll find that he opens up about his love life too — and let’s face it, you’ve been dying to know!
Your bank balances.
If you think you can keep love and money separate, you’re kidding yourself. Financial woes are one of the top things that couples fight about and it’s pretty obvious why. The truth of the matter is that you don’t want to carry your guy financially. If he’s a burden on your bank balance, you may not mind to start with, but that crap will get old fast. Same goes the other way around too.
The weird and kinky stuff you like in bed.
Hell, if you can’t say this stuff to your partner, who can you say it to? If there’s something unashamedly kinky you like in the sack (so long as it’s legal), you absolutely should be sharing it with your guy. Who knows? He might just be into the same weird ass stuff as you are.
The sex being just plain abysmal.
And now for the flip side. What if the sex is just plain awful? What if it’s boring and just doesn’t get the job done? You HAVE to say something. It really doesn’t matter how in love you are or how great of a guy he is; if you can’t tell your S.O. when their sex sucks, you’re gonna have some festering resentment deep down in your… heart.
What you expect from the relationship.
Everyone has an idea of how their ideal relationship will play out, so don’t B.S. and say that you’re just going with the flow. You need to let your partner know what you want from the relationship so that they at least have half a chance of giving it to you. This conversation is tricky since you might find out that your expectations don’t exactly align. Still, it’s better to find out now than six months down the line.
Whether you want kids or just a family of cats (or neither).
This one can be something of a dealbreaker for a lot of people. Ultimately, if you don’t want an army of children around you in the future, you shouldn’t have to change your mind for your partner. In the same vein, if your S.O. is all about having a massive family, you shouldn’t be the one to stand in the way of that if that’s not what you imagined for your life.
Things that disappoint you in the relationship.
You could be with your absolute dream man, but on occasion, he’s bound to piss you off now and then. If you’re keeping all that disappointment bottled up, it’s going to explode out of you all at once. Instead, you need to be honest when things upset or disappoint you in the relationship. Otherwise, how the hell do you expect things to change?!
Your political leanings.
Politics matter. Your political persuasion says a whole load about where your priorities lie and who you are as a person. If you’re not willing to discuss that with your partner, something is seriously amiss. Avoiding this issue could lead to some nasty surprises down the line.
Your fears, insecurities, and anxieties.
Nobody is as perfectly adjusted as the image of themselves they portray to the outside world. On the inside, we’re all big old raging balls of anxiety, stress, and insecurity. If you can’t open up and show that side of yourself to your partner, you’re not being authentic with them. If you can’t be real with your S.O., you’re in one hell of an effed up relationship.
All those niggling little ‘what if’ questions.
I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you’re not a psychic. You don’t know what’s going to happen to you in the distant future. That’s why you need to talk about all those annoying ‘what if’ questions with your partner. What if you get offered a job in another country? What if one of you loses their job? What if you decide to travel the world? You need answers to all of the above and more. Knowing where you both stand in the relationship is essential. Don’t be a fool and ignore these questions!
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