Your Relationship With Your Ex Probably Wasn’t As Great As You’re Remembering It

He might be your ex, but you’re still dreaming of the days you were together. You hate being without him because to you, he was perfect. You’re seeing things through rose-colored glasses, clearly, because if you can’t see any problems with your past relationship, you’re not facing reality. Here are 10 signs you’re romanticizing your ex:

  1. No one else compares to him. In fact, no one else is in his league. No one’s worthy of his love, maybe not even you. You won’t even consider the possibility that there might be someone better out there for you because no matter how great another guy might be, there’s no comparison.
  2. You only remember the good times. Every relationship has its ups and downs, so if you can only remember the highs and not the lows, your memory is lacking. Open your eyes and see that your relationship wasn’t perfect — and that’s okay. Once you start realizing that there were in fact problems, only then will you ever be able to move on.
  3. You blame yourself for the breakup. It takes two to tango and two to fail a relationship. You may have played a part in your breakup but the fact that your relationship didn’t last isn’t entirely your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you, so if you’re blaming yourself without giving any responsibility to your ex your opinion of him is way too biased.
  4. Your friends remember your relationship differently. They have to remind you of his total jerk status because in your eyes he’s still Prince Charming. If they say anything against him you’re quick to defend. Most of the time you just ignore their opinions because the truth is you don’t want to face the possibility that they might be right about him…
  5. You think of him as the one that got away. You never stop daydreaming of the relationship you had together. In fact, you can’t seem to look let alone find interest in any other man. Why? Well, because despite the fact that you’re broken up, you still think he’s “The One.” For now, he’s the one that got away, and that’s why you can’t move on.
  6. You can’t see his flaws. To you, he’s perfect—and that’s a serious problem. No man should ever be the epitome of perfect to you. Perfection is impossible, so if you can’t see his flaws, then you’re not seeing the real him. Your ex isn’t perfect and once you stop romanticizing your past relationship, you’ll finally see his flaws.
  7. You don’t want to move on. Even if you don’t say it out loud, deep down, what you really want is to get back together. You can’t seem to let go of the fairytale love story you thought you had. You don’t want to move on because that feels like giving up. He might be over you but you refuse to let yourself get over him.
  8. You don’t hold him responsible for his mistakes. If you think that he’s never done anything wrong, then you’re putting him on one hell of a pedestal. He makes mistakes just like everyone else, one of the biggest being that he was willing to let go of an amazing girl like you. Maybe you made mistakes in your relationship but so did he. So make sure you’re holding him accountable and he doesn’t get off scot-free.
  9. You don’t realize that you deserve better. You think that your ex is the best shot at love you’ve ever had and probably ever will. You think that he’s it, he’s true love and it doesn’t get any better than him. You don’t really believe you deserve a man who would treat you right and that’s why you’re willing to settle for your ex. He might not be the best boyfriend in the world, but in your mind, you just don’t deserve the best.
  10. You think love is always full of pain. Even though he hurt you, you have convinced yourself that the love you have for each other is still real. You think that love is always this hard and never painless. You have a twisted sense of what true love really is and that’s why you can’t realize that this complicated fairytale is really a tragic nightmare of two people who are just plain wrong for each other.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.