7 Things To Remember When Love And Dating Seem Like More Trouble Than They’re Worth

­It’s both a new year and a new decade, which makes it the perfect time for a fresh start. You may have thrown in the towel on love, and I can’t blame you if the journey has been a struggle, but there are some convincing motives for why you may not want to fully lose faith. Even if love doesn’t seem to be in the cards for you, here are 7 reasons to persuade you to hold onto the tiniest bit of hope for love just a little longer.

Most things in life revolve around it.

Isn’t the love we receive as children ultimately what affects the trajectory of the rest of our lives? These are generalizations, but it seems like many women who didn’t receive love from their fathers tend to date older men, people who weren’t supported by their parents have low self-esteem and those who were criticized a lot by their family now have anxiety. For better or worse, love or lack thereof is the root of who everyone is. As adults, we choose to love the way we were or try to love every way but. And this isn’t limited to relationships. It’s how we love ourselves, our friends, and our children too. Don’t give up on love because whether you choose to share it with a romantic partner or not, how you love is likely impacting others in some way and why not put out good in the world and influence better future outcomes.

There’s got to be something magical about it.

I don’t know about you, but most of my love attempt experiences have been pretty disastrous, hence being tragically single at the moment. If I just go by me, I would say the whole idea is a complete sham. But love inspired so many songs, poems, and movies. It’s even caused feuds, deaths, and maybe even entire battles. There’s no way that something that isn’t a huge major deal would have had such a consistent influence throughout all of history. Doesn’t that fact that it’s so powerful for others just make you a little curious about what you potentially could be missing out on? I want to be knocked off my feet and profoundly moved too.

Love lasting love is special.

I know of couples who have been married 30, even 40 years! That’s longer than my whole existence. I’m sure they’ve had their struggles but being in a union with another person for that length of time is awe-inspiring. There’s a sense of stability and never truly being alone in the world. I respect that kind of bond between two people. I haven’t even lived at the same address since my original childhood home for longer than three years.

It’s a different kind of high.

There are a lot of negative aversions to love when you’re not in it and hesitant to get back on the dating horse. It’s easier when you’re out of it to remember how your last relationship ended and not want to have such a hurtful and painful experience again. It’s worse when you go through a bunch of failed dating attempts and get reminded of how many red flags and toxic dating behaviors exist out there. But the truth is, the only way to experience a feeling truly great and intensely good is to open yourself up to just as powerful of a low. The only way you could even be that hurt is because you cared deeply and had passion. Otherwise, you wouldn’t even care and you’d be able to walk away easily. It’s not fun to be vulnerable, but if you play it safe and avoid risks, you’ll limit yourself from how awesome and indescribable your love could be. Safe and predictable sound nice, but you only live once, so why not just keep going for it and make the most out of the time you’re here? Even if you never find that ecstatic love for yourself, good or bad you’ll at least have some adventures and stories to tell along the way rather than just holing up as a recluse and being an emotional martyr.

When it’s right, it shouldn’t be as hard as it’s been.

The reason your love pursuits may be failing is that you’re looking in the wrong place and pursuing the wrong people. If you think about it, why should every match be successful? Aren’t we all searching for our soulmate, a one true love? Even if you don’t believe in that per se, there are so many different love languages, dating preferences, personality types, etc. Just because someone physically looks good to you or was nice to you one time or is simply actively looking and serious about making a relationship work doesn’t guarantee anything. Probability says the more people you meet and give a chance to, the likelier you’ll be of finding someone you can deeply connect with. Until then, it could be hard because those people just aren’t meant for you and you can’t force something to fit where it does not go.

You may just need to stop chasing it.

Maybe it’s trouble because you’re trying to force it. There are so many stories of couples who wind up pregnant either right after they adopt or during the process. The same concept can apply to love. Sometimes when you relax and let life happen the things you want just fall into your path naturally. If love seems like such a headache right now, leave it alone so it can become such a surprise when it happens instead.

Whenever you do find love, these lonely days will all be behind you.

As frustrating as the pursuit may be, it’s hopefully just a temporary season. It’s like going through infertility- it can feel forever and hopeless but then one day you’re a parent and that’s permanent and your new forever. Whatever existed before just abruptly ends. If you’re outwardly done with love but still secretly holding onto the fantasy somewhere deep inside you, just know this may be your reality one day as hard as it may be to see it now.

Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here

Read more:

Share this article now!

Jump to the comments