No one guy or relationship is perfect. They make mistakes along the way, and the support and reassurance from us is what strengthens the bond. With that said, no woman should have to spoon feed a guy the right things to do in a relationship. If you have to remind your guy to do these 10 things, then it might be time to find a new one:
- Make Quality Time For You. It should be a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many guys think the occasional call or text count as ‘quality time.’ He should be regularly planning one-on-one sessions for the two of you to catch up, learn more about each other or just enjoy each other’s company. Relationships are a two-way street, but if you’re doing all the work to choreograph dates, you might want to rethink your relationship status.
- Take Care Of Himself. Some guys are good catches but don’t have the best memory. It’s great to have a partner around to remind them of forgotten commitments, misplaced items or to pay a late bill. It’s not great, however, to find yourself in a position where you’re holding a guy’s hand through everything. If you’re independent, it’s only natural that you want the same from your significant other. If he can’t hack it on his own, then it’s time to look for love elsewhere.
- Make The Next Move. You’ve been dating for a while and you’re ready to make things exclusive. It seems like your guy feels the same, though you haven’t had an official talk about it. Still, you’re excited to see how the relationship progresses… but it doesn’t. Seriously — nothing’s changed. He takes you to the same places you’ve always gone and invites you to the same activities you enjoyed in the early stages of your relationship. You might have to give him a gentle nudge. If that doesn’t work, then you should make a move and call it quits.
- Talk Things Out. You’re not a mind reader and neither is he, so when the inevitable argument comes up, you both should know how to handle it (keyword: should). It’s okay to get a little heated and need time apart, but if you’re ready to discuss things with him and he’s nowhere to be found, what kind of message does that send? You shouldn’t have to track him down and pry his feelings out of him. If he’s not willing to do it on his own, then it’s not your responsibility.
- Define Your Relationship Status. Look, some things are to be expected from your partner based on the rules of your relationship. You likely discussed them when you got together in the first place. For instance, if things are exclusive, then you’d be pissed to see your guy showcasing some flirtatious behavior around you. No one should constantly have to remind their partner of the rules of their relationship.
- Treat You With Respect. Respect is a non-negotiable requirement in any relationship. There are several ways to be disrespectful, like totally disregarding sexual or personal boundaries. Don’t ever beg, plead or remind a guy to respect the lines you’ve drawn for yourself. If he’s anything less than accepting, don’t just walk away — run.
- Be Honest. Nobody likes a liar. I know I don’t. You don’t. So in a relationship, it’s a given that your significant other should tell the truth, no matter how painful or potentially humiliating it may be. If you regularly catch him in little white lies, something bigger is happening behind the scenes. If he’s struggling to tell the truth, then it’s not your job to teach him right from wrong.
- Listen To You. Your thoughts and feelings matter in general, but they should be paramount to the guy you’re dating. If he brushes you or your concerns about most things off (especially if they don’t involve him personally), this is a huge red flag about his character. Like respect, listening to the person you’re with is a must-have and a sign of respect and common decency. If he can’t give that to you, then you don’t need to be with him.
- Be Intimate. Physical affection is one of the best parts of a relationship. When it’s done right with the right person, it can be an amazing experience. With some exceptions, both people need to initiate romance. If you’re doing all the work to plan for it and in the moment, you seriously need to have a talk. If nothing changes, then you should take your affection and leave.
- Apologize. This nine-letter word carries more weight than most of us realize. When said from a genuine place, it can disarm the most volatile of arguments and acts as a stepping stone to patching things up. If you’re willing to say ‘sorry’ after a spat but he won’t reciprocate, he’s silently putting all of the blame on you for the argument. He doesn’t want to admit he’s wrong, which does more harm than good for the both of you — in which case, your love and compassion would be appreciated elsewhere.