One of the most important things that this society has to relearn is the value of our own time. We don’t need to be with someone in order to be valued members of this world. Another person does not complete me. I’m a complete human being with or without a sexual partner. So many people internalize this pressure and stay in toxic relationships where they’re treated like crap just so that they can keep the social badge of honor. In reality, I’d rather be single and happy. Here’s why.
- Free time is totally underrated. When you’re not in a toxic relationship, you can really appreciate the time to yourself. You can catch up on all the latest shows, experiment with cooking, and bake cookies at 2 a.m. without disturbing anyone. Also, you get the whole bed and don’t have to contend with some random person snoring next to you. You can live undisturbed and find out what you value in this world.
- Small talk sucks. Let’s be honest. Tinder is terrible. Hinge is stressful. Any dating app with an ambiguous adjective makes me come out in hives. I hate being perceived, but that’s because dating culture is so tragic and heteronormative. You should be excited about meeting new people, but you’re always too insecure and weirded out to enjoy the moment. It’s a flawed system. You might as well ignore it altogether and just live it up as a single woman.
- You can work on your friendships. I firmly believe that friendships are the most important relationships in your life. All good relationships start there, but more than that, these are the people who are with you thick and thin. They were there when you were fifteen, gawky and with glasses, timing how quickly you could do a Rubik’s cube. They saw that and they still want to hang out with you, because you’re cool and interesting. These things rarely feature in the dating world which can be misogynistic. Physical appearance is all that matters, and people are more willing to ghost you than have an honest conversation. Leave them at the curb.
- Solo travel is pretty amazing. Other than work, you have no other huge responsibilities. Make good on that. Be the person that all your married friends are jealous of. Become more spontaneous and free-thinking without the restrictive mentality of dating. Dressing up and wearing heels for people who aren’t your type and will leave you with the bill after talking about themselves for two hours? No thank you.
- Spending money on yourself is where it’s at. While couples get tax breaks and can share stamps on their address, you don’t have to compromise. You can put yourself as your main priority. Spend time and money on what you prioritize while you’re single. Trust me, money can’t buy happiness, but it brings control and contentment. That’s close enough for now.
- Self-care spa days are restorative. Self-explanatory, yes? You don’t have to be available for their emotional download. You exist on your own timeline, and you aren’t tied down by relationships that make you feel like crap. Winner winner chicken dinner.
- You have extra time to visit your parents. I know this might sound like a hassle, but when you’re not busy supporting a thousand other people, returning home doesn’t have to be a chore. Being single means you have time and space to appreciate the nostalgia without the stress and angst of having a partner over that might judge or be judged by your family. The best of both worlds. Plus, you get more food.
- You can Be comfortable in your own space. This is an underrated beauty of life, frankly. Even in relationships, we need to unlearn the unspoken rule of thumb that intimacy means sharing spaces. It doesn’t – it’s all about communication. Sharing a bed and an apartment and a bookshelf and a sock drawer – those aren’t magical binding agents for a relationship. That’s just an exercise in tolerance.
- It’s important to learn about yourself. What do you want? Of yourself? Out of life? From a partner? Don’t get distracted waiting for a guy to change when you know he’s full of crap. Cut out the middle man.
- You can try therapy. Hey, if there ever was a time to check in with yourself, it’s now. You have the time and the disposable income. Sit down and have a chat about what’s been going on in your life. You will find yourself with lots to share with a therapist rather than a guy who doesn’t value you.
There you are, a few ways in which singledom is God-tier quality time. You are the most important person in your life, just as you should be.