Reminder: You Don’t Owe Your Ex Anything After A Breakup

One thing that always baffles me is how guys will dump a girl, then try to whine about how they should still be able to have the perks of a relationship despite refusing to be official any longer. Whether it’s a guy bemoaning that you won’t sleep with him now that you two aren’t together or a loser who thinks that you shouldn’t post images of yourself and your new boyfriend, the fact is that these guys need to get a grip. If your ex is bothering you with things he feels he’s owed, you need to get real with him (and yourself).

  1. His privilege to sleep with you ran out when you broke up. Seriously, why do guys think that they have the right to keep sleeping with girls they dumped? If they aren’t with you, don’t put up with this behavior. They don’t deserve to have sex with someone they didn’t value enough to keep!
  2. Trying to guilt you or manipulate you into doing things for him is pathetic. You have to wonder what kind of loser has to resort to pouting after a breakup in order to get his way. It’s not cute. It’s not sexy. It’s not even attractive or mature. Heck, it’s just downright repulsive.
  3. What makes him think he’s owed anything, anyway? It’s a safe bet that he can’t come up with any reason outside of his “man feels.”
  4. You should be willing to bet that he wouldn’t do the same for you. This is also a safe bet. Oh, the hypocrisy of it all.
  5. If he didn’t want you to live your own life and stop supporting him, he shouldn’t have dumped you. This is what it all boils down to. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. If he wanted the perks of a relationship so badly, he’d have done right by you.
  6. You shouldn’t care if it hurts his feelings — you’re no longer part of his life. The easiest way to make a guy realize his games won’t work anymore is to get mean. If you slam him hard enough, he’ll realize that there’s no chance in hell that you’ll ever be nice.
  7. No, you don’t owe him an explanation. You really don’t. You have a right to choose to do what you want to do without answering to a guy who’s no longer in your life (or shouldn’t be, if he’d just take a damn hint).
  8. You don’t owe him an apology, either. Assuming that you didn’t cheat on him or do anything similarly slimy, you don’t owe him an apology for refusing to kowtow to his demands. He’s acting like a petulant child, and that means that he’s the one who should be apologizing.
  9. No, you can’t be friends with him after this. Here’s the funny thing about breakups: you don’t have to be friends with your douchey ex if you don’t want to be.
  10. Unless you’re paying child support, you don’t owe him a cent. It’s true. You don’t need to play sugar mama to a loser who didn’t see your worth in the first place.
  11. All those gifts he bought you? Keep them. He can’t take them back just because you’re over. Why is this even a thing?! If a guy buys you a gift, it’s assumed that there’s no strings attached. That stuff, once you break up, is STILL YOURS.
  12. You don’t owe him another chance or another conversation. Do you really need to say anything else?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.