Reminder: Love Isn’t Worth It If You’re Not Truly Happy

If you’ve ever been in love before, you’ve probably thought at some point that there’s nothing that you wouldn’t do for the object of your affection. You’d make any sacrifice, work through any obstacle, and accept any challenge in order to keep them or protect them. The thing is, love sometimes isn’t enough to make a relationship healthy or happy. Just because you love someone doesn’t always mean staying with them is the right thing to do.

  1. Life is too short. We all know how precious life is and that no day is guaranteed. You might love your partner, but if you’re not happy with them, you can’t waste years of your life trying to convince yourself that you are or trying to force yourself into happiness. Not only is this ineffective, but it’s also unnecessary on so many levels. There is someone out there who’s a much better fit for you and there’s also someone who’s a better fit for your partner. You’re both better off going your separate ways than continuing to hold each other back.
  2. Some people just aren’t ready for love. You might be completely in love with someone and they might care for you in return but the timing might be off. You and your partner have to be in the right place to give and receive love in the way you both deserve. If you feel like you’re the one who’s putting in all the effort while your partner just sits back and watches, there’s a possibility that they’re just not in a place to be in love with you. It doesn’t mean that they won’t be in the future but if you have to force the love right now, you’re better off letting them go and trusting that if it’s meant to be, you’ll find each other again.
  3. Love doesn’t cancel out toxic behavior. Just because you love someone and they love you back doesn’t justify toxic actions. If your partner is abusive to you in any way, attempts to control you, or causes you any kind of fear or distress, their love for you doesn’t matter. If someone truly loved you, they wouldn’t want to do anything that would cause you harm or pain. They might have things that they need to work out within themselves and if you choose to walk away from them, it doesn’t mean that you’re betraying them or giving up on your relationship. It means that you’re making the best choice for yourself so that you both can be better and healthier.
  4. Love isn’t always enough to build a future on. We’re always told that as long as you have love, that’s all you need. If you’re completely and truly happy then yes, that statement is true. However, if you’re not happy, and you also don’t have the security that you desire with your relationship, it can be a problem. For example, healthy and steady relationships require responsibility, trust, planning, maturity, and compromise. If you and your partner don’t have those things and you don’t feel happiness, love just isn’t enough to make it work.
  5. Love won’t magically fix all your problems. It’s easy to assume that if you fall in love all of the other bad things happening in your life or issues that you’re dealing with will just melt away. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, love can make the difficulties of life easier to deal with but it doesn’t make problems disappear. You still have to do work on yourself and take care of the things in your life that you had to before you fell in love. So, if you’re searching for your soulmate simply because you’re looking for an out to all of life’s challenges, you’re going to be extremely disappointed. It doesn’t work that way.
  6. Being familiar isn’t the same thing as love. Many people stay together even if they fall out of love simply because it’s what’s familiar. Some relationships aren’t working but the people in them decide to stay because they’re so comfortable with each other. It’s great that you care for one another and feel a sense of peace when you’re together but if you don’t feel romantic feelings anymore, staying together is keeping you both from finding the people you’re truly meant to be with.
  7. You may want different things out of life. It’s possible to be madly in love with someone and to have a completely different idea of what the perfect life looks like. You might have a dream in your head of what your future will look like but it might be the complete opposite of your partner’s. At the beginning of romances, these things don’t usually matter as much but you’ll quickly begin to see that if the things that each of you wants out of life don’t align, more problems will start to arise within your relationship. Sometimes being in love just isn’t enough to feel completely satisfied with someone, especially if you feel like you had to give up something you’ve always wanted for them.
  8. Love won’t replace your dreams for yourself. When the goals we want to achieve in life start to seem impossible or too scary to go after anymore, we might choose love as a consolation prize of sorts. It’s easy to think that being in love and having a partner will be good enough to fulfill our lives so that we don’t need to keep working towards that seemingly impossible dream. This way of thinking will only leave you living with regret and maybe even resentment. Being in love is a dream you might have for yourself but it doesn’t have to be your only dream and it certainly shouldn’t replace other dreams that you have. You’re still an individual and you still have your own battles to fight and win. Using love as a filler is not worth it. It won’t make you happy.
  9. Being in love won’t make you love yourself. Another thing a lot of people expect being in love to do is to cause them to fall in love with themselves too. Unfortunately, love doesn’t work that way. Loving someone else doesn’t always mean that you love yourself and honestly, in order to truly love someone with all of your heart, you need to love yourself. You still have to put in the effort and get to the root of why you don’t love yourself in order to fix it and move forward in your life. Being in love is amazing but being able to love yourself, truly and completely, makes loving a partner even better.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.